to dismount.”
Archimedes once said, “Give me a lever long enough and I will move the world”
For the last 30 years we have been pushing harder and harder on one and only one lever with diminishing results and it’s time we stopped.
Many of you, dear readers, know that I have been a bible student most of my adult life. The parallel between our behavior and this one lever has always struck me as akin to idol worship. 30 years ago it was amusing. Today it is tragic.
Having said that and before I continue let me be clear: I am NOT pointing a finger of blame. In the context of the times the behavior is fully understandable. Further, both sides to the resulting co-dependent relationship are equally complicit AND should now forge a new and different relationship because they still need each other. (emphasis on different)
Historically, until 1984 and the passage of the infamous FTC rule, society pretty much dictated what you did when someone you loved died. As a result, customers only had two decisions to make: 1. which funeral home; and 2. what merchandise. Everything was SIMPLE. Then everything changed. Not just because of the FTC. That was only a facilitative event. Because society lost its ability to cause conformity. Seemingly people could make alternative choices (including nothing at all) with no apparent ill effects. We began to experience our now increasing decline in relevancy.
Because customers only had one decision to make once they had selected a funeral home there was only one financial lever available with which to impact revenue. This:
Of course you can also increase volume. But that can take years because the public continues to stubbornly refuse to die at our convenience.
From this single lever grew a “co-dependent” relationship that is also understandable. Tacitly, manufacturers agreed to make practitioners their sole source of distribution and practitioners developed an over reliance (dependence) on the manufacturer for strategic direction. That was great when their challenges and goals were aligned. Unfortunately, that is no longer true. So, for 30 years now we have responded to a market turning away from traditional burial by pushing harder and harder on the one lever. This may be what has caused the cremation rate to spike by 250% in 2008. Who knows?
This is where the idol parallel strikes me. Families today don’t know what they want or need! To meet this challenge requires people skills. Skills like listening, guiding, teaching, relationship and trust building. To paraphrase god, “your idols cannot speak, they cannot listen, they cannot guide.” In fact, if they have any influence at all it is mostly negative.
Should the casket companies close up and go home? Should we stop selling caskets? Emphatically NO! But the question is begged:
“How is pushing so hard on that lever working for you?”
Instead a new alliance should be formed. Caskets need to take their rightful place as merchandise we sell…not “what we are.” We need, as a profession, to realize that we offer something valuable to society. For all of history mankind has demonstrated consistent needs when dealing with loss. Our current society is ignoring those needs but that doesn’t make them any less real. Replacing our real value to society with a piece of furniture only encourages that irrelevance. I think that for those who want burial we can do both. For those who want cremation we have a moral obligation to help them understand their needs. That means that instead of investing in a new selection room you need to invest in training.
I know both the funeral director side and the vendor side. The casket obsession has impaired the ability to adapt on both sides. U.S. vendors are severely hampered by their inability to become efficient both in distribution and in manufacturing by simple things that wouldn’t exist outside a co-dependent relationship. For instance, they have all realized that they would be dramatically better off by limiting the number of SKU’s they carry. At a recent supplier sales meeting I assured them there was not a funeral director in the country that wouldn’t support a reduction if it would hold down wholesale costs “AS LONG AS THEY CONTINUED TO SUPPLY THEIR FAVORITES.”
We are both (vendors and practitioners) in the same boat. It’s sinking. We should talk.
But maybe I am wrong. Maybe a box can replace a caring ear, an experienced word of wisdom.
Many years ago I heard the late Steven Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People) use the parable about his consulting days in corporate America observing management/corporate leadership trying to solve a problem by putting forth great effort and expense “building a ladder to climb over a wall” only to find out that they where assaulting the wrong wall.
Having come into the funeral business after years working in other professions I understand your “pulling on one leaver” point very well.
From my observations I have learned that change is one of the most challenging things to get anyone to do. For example over time and with age I became overweight. It took a health scare to get me to put forth the effort to lose 45 pounds. To meet my goal of my goal weight my doctors wants me to be at, I need to make additional changes in my lifestyle…let us just say I can appreciate how difficult making changes are.
But with change can and often comes reward.
The question is are we motivated enough, or do we hurt enough, or are we driven to success enough to set our goals and make the necessary adjustments to change?
Keep in mind there is also a price for not changing. As in weight loss or in this example not losing weight, you become sluggish, slow to respond, your health declines, and you die a premature death. So it is also in business. One of the things I retained from Dr. Ford’s business class at the University of North Florida over 30 years ago was that businesses also have a life cycle. When I lived in San Diego in the early 1970’s FotoMats where everywhere, selling and developing film and selling low end cameras. Today they are gone. Blockbuster Video stores are now struggling to stay alive; replacing 3000 square foot retail stores with vending machines and online downloads.
Why do funeral home owners think that our business should be any different?
It is up to the funeral home owners and management to make the course corrections in their business plans to meet their business goals which includes putting together a well trained staff, especially a staff with (difficult to find) real people skills, and developing effective strategic vendor partnerships.
Frankly, in my opinion if a casket company prices are out of control because they make 100 different models that is their business problem, because in today’s market place there are many other low cost, high quality casket manufactures to partner with.
Perhaps I am being too simplistic. I am fighting to stay optimistic over what our profession can become and what we can do to assist families to honor their loved ones.
I believe that the future is very bright for funeral homes who do adapt to change and who listen, plan, and work to be sure they place their ladders on the correct wall.
Howard how refreshing. I am optimistic and am fighting to encourage change. Here in the UK, many funeral homes in my area believe they have embraced change by offering a wicker casket or a releasing a couple of doves at a funeral. The apathy and complete disregard for change is rife and companies are most certainly not assisting families holistically. Because families know no better, these companies remain busy which further reduces their need for change!
I am writing a model which will I hope, demystify practice and will result in my company producing death care and funeral development not seen before . The change will come from a heartfelt review of holistic care – not casket selection, cost cutting change or funeral bling! Its time for a wake up call!!! Good Morning from the UK!!!
Gail and Howard, great comments. Just to let everyone know, I am about to launch the 2020 Project which is specifically designed to enable the profession to change without “throwing babies out with bathwater” as so many think they must do. I have been “boning” up on my organizational development skills and remembered that one of the most significant barriers to institutional change is the lack of recognition that all change is uniquely personal and very, very narrow. Wide reaching attempts at radical change will always fail. Step-by-step “one-thing-at-a-time” change may be perceived as slow but, in reality is extraordinarily effective and sustainable. You can’t “fix” a problem like this you have to help people reshape, each in his / her own way. That requires learning Which will be the focus of the 2020 project. WE have a problem. We have to fix it.
thanks again.
I love the story about finding the right wall to climb from Mr. Beckham. As we all look where to place our ladders, let’s find the place to set our ladder that helps “build-up” the families we serve.
Might we provide an experience in which families may reminisce, in which the older generation can pass-on the baton of values and stories in a natural way; an atmosphere which promotes building-up of relationships.
I suggest that it begins with photos. Photos provide a clear look into the relationships, values and frankly, the fun of our lives. Let us promote an experience in which an elderly spouse can appreciate the fact that his/her grandchildren are learning about, and witnessing, the life of the deceased partner, the fruits of their lives together. There are very few opportunities in our lives where this can be done in a broad, meaningful way. The funeral, or celebration- of-life experience, is one of those times.
If you are to make it over this wall climbing this ladder, it means you have found a way to use today’s technology. You may invest in having a computer in your chapel, projector, screen, etc. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel to get there. Learn, educate your staff, invest. Begin to climb.
Alan,
to you point, as the largest provider of custom websites in America, guess what the most common thing is that we try to talk funeral home owners out highlighting and talking about at length on their website? Their merchandise rooms!
As a communications/PR major in college, I arrived in this industry and was shocked by funeral home’s excitement to show their caskets. I thought “don’t you want me to get interested in who you are and what makes you the best choice? Don’t you want to tell me what I need to be thinking about, and in so doing win my trust and my phone call? The focus of your content just proves to me what the media says about funeral homes wanting to milk me for big money.” And yet, one of the most common funeral home website templates out there today greets shoppers with pictures of a Visa and MasterCard in the middle of their main page! That’s crazy!
Brian, I couldn’t agree more. I recently gave a talk at ICCFA about being interviewed by the press. One of my key points was to never ever let yourself be interviewed or photographed in the selection room or by a casket.
The reason: it plays into a negative stereotype and just plain makes you look bad.