First, it is important to say that ignoring the current social media trend is akin to ignoring the increasingly vital need to have a viable website. Second, one of my concerns (but not the subject of this article) is that being active in social media like Facebook and Twitter has the potential to mislead many funeral directors relative to actual effectiveness, at least at this stage of its development. Here is why: the standard FD Litmus test for advertising effectiveness is having friends and family say, “I saw your ad.” Of course, if they say, “I liked your ad.” Then you can be sure it will become a favorite. The problem is that your family and friends don’t die that often and they were going to use you anyway…hopefully. My personal Litmus test for advertising is whether it makes the phone ring. And, to be sure, more than a few funeral directors have told me that they have gotten calls and / or preneeds from their Facebook page. So, with those disclaimers in mind:
I have been on Facebook now for almost 2 years. Facebook tells me I have 268 “friends.” I don’t know many of these people because I didn’t know in the beginning that it was not considered impolite to refuse someone’s friend request. I have Facebook linked to my smart phone so while I am waiting in the doctor’s office or in the airport I thumb through the updates. I admit I am charmed by Arvin Starret’s quips and intrigued by the seemingly free spirit life of Brad Speaks. But those are the exception. I find it inane to know whether someone is or is not at work… A little strange to learn that someone is flipping pancakes at the Rotary breakfast or taking their kids to McDonalds. On the other hand I do like the funeral homes that announce that they are “Honored to be serving the Smith Family today”.
What I dislike the most is those who use social media for advertising. I joined the NFDA discussion group hoping for some real discussion. After 4 months I unsubscribed. In all that time there was only one viable discussion question. All the rest were fringe promoters trying to hawk their product, service or “world-changing” idea. I, for one, will be glad when the Kate-Boylston seminar is over. I am sure it has helped them build attendance and I don’t blame them for it. But enough already, it’s starting to feel like the political advertising that we are all so glad to have behind us. Harry Beckwith in his excellent book, “What Client’s Love,” observes that “You cannot intrude in customers lives. The more you intrude the more you annoy.”
To my point: Why is Social Media kinda like wearing your underpants on the outside?
Because it makes the SENDER more important than the RECIPIENT. It’s all about me and not enough about them. If, in fact, it is a new way to build your business then how does it communicate what’s in it for the buyer? What compelling value proposition is there? Other than the fact that you are out there, what differentiates you from the pack?
I am anticipating strong response to this article. Help us all figure this out. How can we make social media more about the recipient than the sender?
Alan:
You make some good points on social media, and sorry if the promotions on our conferences have been a bit too much for you, but in addition to any posts on those events, we do try to mix in a lot of relevant articles, prompt discussion and help keep people in the loop. Kates-Boylston Publications aims to help all death-care professionals, and our conferences are one of the ways we go about doing this. We appreciate your criticism and will keep working on trying to serve our audience in a variety of mediums.
Sincerely,
Tom Parmalee
Editorial Director
Kates-Boylston Publications
I couldn’t agree more, Alan.
We recently started “Fan Pages” for our two funeral homes and I am convinced that this is part of the future for all businesses, including funeral homes. The results, after only a month have been very encouraging as we continue to develop ways of becoming “relevant” as far as the Internet is concerned….RJV
Good article, Alan. I have been on FB since 2007 and at first I truly hesitated to add folks that were not part of my genuine circle of close friends. I know a LOT of people, obviously, as most funeral directors do. Add another group of church folks and some business associates and it’s pretty easy to end up with a huge friends list. Then friends of friends make a “friend request” and a person ends up with a list with tenuous and varied backgrounds and relationships. At last count I have 1,086 friends on FB.
I have treated my personal FB page in a way which is sort of like having a whole bunch of people over for a huge barbecue. The topic of conversation may be general and even trivial – the weather, the food, the daily tasks – or it may run to politics, economics, philosophy, religion, or any number of timely topics of interest to the group. People may just relax and enjoy themselves, or they may engage in very serious discussion. Big groups are like that. Wandering around the gathering, one could expect to find all manner of types of discussion. In the kitchen might be people talking recipes or cracking jokes. Out by the pond you might find people talking economics. In the living room could be people discussing life-or-death matters concerning a friend who is terminally ill.
Now, I may end up regretting adding so many casual acquaintances. Will they judge me? Will they form false (or even true) impressions of me that reflect poorly on our business? On my church? On my family? Self-disclosure always bears some risk. Can we be authentic, be our “real” selves, etc? Or must we construct carefully designed public persona’s that only project the image we “think” people want to see? That is a question each of us has to answer for ourselves. I have chosen to be fairly authentic. I appreciate the “free spirit” comment, by the way! Mostly this seems to be received in a positive way, for which I am thankful.
But to the topic at hand: our company also has a Facebook fan page and we have approximately 500 folks there. For our Speaks company FB page we want to communicate with our “friends” without imposing ourselves on people’s FB newsfeed in an annoying fashion. We want to share our company’s mission in a way which helps people remember us. The trick is to do that in a way which is well-received.
I have an acquaintance who owns a coffee shop. It’s a decent shop, with good coffee, and I visit her establishment frequently. When she made a Coffee Shop Facebook page, I “friended” it. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that she thought of it as an opportunity to sell me (and her other friends) “stuff” on a daily basis …even on an hourly basis at times. The daily special, the sandwich of the day, the coffee that was brewing right this very second and was oh so awesome…..it very quickly became an annoyance that I was not willing to put up with. I defriended her company FB page. I still like my friend. I still go to her shop occasionally. I still have her as a friend on her personal FB friends list. But her efforts to market herself and her business backfired, at least in my case. I suspect others felt the same way.
Imagine taking your personal Christmas card list, your family friends, your relatives, your close personal life-long friends….and sending them an entreaty to do business with you, a plea to buy your stuff. Not just once, but several times a day. Day after day. Week after week. More and more notices to please come do business with you. Month after month you send out more and more invitations to buy your stuff. How would your close friends feel now? How would your family respond? Your relatives, your personal life-long friends? Would they like that? I bet not.
So social media is not the be-all and end-all of marketing and advertising. Does it have a place in our businesses? Yes, of course. But our company Facebook pages need to be sensitive to “how” we put our message out there. I don’t know the answer to your question, Alan. But I agree that to be effective we need to focus on the needs of the viewer in relation to what we have to offer as a company.
Back to my “gathering of friends for a barbecue” illustration. Suppose in the middle of that barbecue I pulled out the Amway presentation and everyone there realized they had been tricked? That I hadn’t invited them as friends, but was instead trying to sell them something. They might listen politely once, but that would be the last time anyone accepted an invitation to a barbecue at my house.
That’s why for the most part I view Facebook and social media as “social” in nature, not as business opportunities. I think more of my friends than that.
Al-I’m with you on this. Just because it “Social Media” doesn’t mean everyone is going to want to receive our messages more than through conventional outlets. It doens’t matter which form of media we get involved with we’re shackled to some degree. This is now just added to the list.
I too have an odd hybrid of “friends” who I would assume use us if we were needed.
There is one saying I stick by when I discuss sales and selling propositions. That is, “You can’t sell anyone anything. You can just make it easy to buy from you”. Although it sounds utterly simple, maybe too much so, it really does encompass every aspect of the selling proposition and is extremely effective.
Social Media accomplishes that to the extent that people just have one more place to find you if the need you. You’ve made it easier for them to buy because you are just that much easier to find.
Alan,
As usual, you are spot on. Too often advertisng, of any type, is about the seller and not about the customer. Look at most Direct Mail pieces or newspaper ads. They show the features that the seller wants to talk about, not the benfits the customer wants or needs. I agree that there is a not all that fine line between being “present” and being intrusive. One eventaully gets you noticed, the other gets you ignored.
I gave up on Facebook as it has way too much fluff in our ever busy world.