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A Broken Business Model: Wringing More Money Out of Your Best Customers Is Not Sustainable

This image illustrates so well the folly of our more than century old pricing model.   All was good until the market changed about 30 years  ago.  Because we didn’t know anything else (and neither did our advisors)  our response to the growth in cremation has been to beef up our burial prices and focus on merchandising with the resulting effect that we are only wringing more money out of our best customers. And our best customers are saying “ENOUGH!”

Beginning with the global economic debacle of 2008 the cremation rate has accelerated.  The hardest hit have been (surprisingly) the rural communities where cremation has in, some instances, jumped from the mid 20% to as much as 50%.  One of my funeral home consulting clients recently told me:

“It’s not that my families want cremation…they just can’t afford burial.”

The Fault Is In The Pricing Strategy

For more than 100 years the standard pricing strategy in business has been what is known as “Cost-Led Pricing.”  And it is this pricing strategy that has prevailed in DeathCare since the Mid 1800’s.  Only last month I read an article in one of our trade journals once again advocating this outmoded strategy.

Cost-Led Pricing works this way:

To calculate your prices using this method is relatively easy.  You only need to know a few things:

  1. Your overhead
  2. Your anticipated call volume
  3. The amount of profit you want to make
  4. Your marginal contribution on merchandise sales.

So, let’s pretend we have a 100 call funeral home that has merchandise sales that look like this:

                          Units    Cost    Markup    Retail       Revenue

Caskets          75       $1,100         2.5         $2,750    $206,250

Vaults             50         $800         1.85       $1,480       $74,000

 Mdse rev                                                                      $280,250

                             cost of sales

                                  Caskets                   $82,500

                                  Vaults                      $40,000

                                                            Total COS          ($122,500)

                                     Contribution To OH                   $157,750

Once we have estimated our merchandise contribution to overhead we tote up our budgeted overhead and tack on our hoped for profit to determine overhead plus profit.

                              OverHead             $445,000

                              Desired profit        $50,000

                     Overhead Plus Desired Profit                  $495,000

          Less contribution from Mdse sales                  ($157,750)

      Overhead and profit less mdse contrib.              $337,250

                                                                    Calls                      100

                                Full Service Charge                            $3,372.50

Our final steps are to reduce the overhead plus profit number by the estimated net contribution from merchandise sales to calculate an estimated net amount to be recovered from our service charges and then to divide that by the estimated call volume for the coming year.

 Here’s The Problem:

When I work with clients I ask rhetorical questions to help them start thinking for themselves.  In this case my question would be: Who is missing from this equation?  But I won’t do that to you.

If it’s not obvious to you the problem here is that the consumer is excluded from the conversation and consumers are never excluded from the conversation...for long.  They always have a vote and right now they are voting with their checkbook.

Worse is the second problem: 

Cost-Led Pricing strategy enables you to ignore the Sins of a bloated overhead and assume the unconscious laziness that avoids the constant search for the necessary efficiencies all businesses must continually seek.

Next week: I will share with you the alternative pricing strategy and how it will enable you to build a veritable competitive fortress.  The Cost-Led Pricing strategy in America Started to die in the 1970’s and is now pretty much dead in the majority of consumer facing industries EXCEPT DeathCare.  For many DeathCare practitioners the transition will be a major challenge.  Perhaps THE major challenge of their lives but it is a transition we all must make.

A Strange Bathroom Encounter–A Rite of Passage

It was between sessions at  an NFDA convention and busy in the bathroom.  An  older  gentleman approached  me and asked brusquely, “Are you Alan Creedy?”  Given his demeanour, for a moment, I wasn’t sure whether to say yes or run.   I finally said yes.  What he said next made me wish he had chosen a different venue.

“I Just want to thank you for making a man of my son.” he said.

You could have heard a pin drop.  Now that we had the rapt attention of everyone in that room I was definitely wishing i was somewhere else. I managed to say, “Sir, I don’t believe we have met.” He introduced himself and the facts behind his odd statement fell into place.

His son had been a client of mine and unwittingly over a period of time he had built up the courage to fire his father. I had little to do with it. Ironically, that was the very action that his father had been waiting for. Dad and Mom turned over the keys and headed to Florida. But if I left the story there it would seem far too easy.

My client’s story is all too typical. Second generation, brought up in the family business, Dad and Mom unwilling to loosen the reigns to let him take over, underpaid and overworked, frustrated with the lack of progress and concerned over whether he would even have a future by the time he was able to make the inevitable changes he saw coming.

I remember 30 years ago when my cohorts were wrestling with their mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts over succession issues.  “We’ll never do this to our kids,” they said.  Well now it’s their turn and I find they’re worse.

Not long ago I mediated with yet another friend and his 37 year old son.  About half way through the conversation I turned to dad and said, “George (not his name), how old were you when you took over from your  dad?” (I was there, you see, and I knew the answer)  He took a sudden interest in his shoes and finally blustered, “Well…well, I was 34…but it was different then.”

Through my funeral home consulting practice I have come to know a lot of these new 30 and 35 and 40 year old “up and comers.”  In my opinion, they are really pretty good.  Maybe better in a lot of ways than we were.  There comes a time to pass the baton.

Why do we so stubbornly resist?  I think it is a lot of things.  Mostly fear.  In some cases we fear a loss of relevancy.  We have so much invested in our career we don’t know what our role will be without it.  In other cases it is the insecurity of not being in control.  And in still others it is simply the stubborn selfishness of age.

Today, I see a lot of parent/owners who really want to do the right thing. But by hanging on too long they are effectively neutering their own kids and crippling the future of their business.

In addition to the make-a-man-out-of-my-son story here are two others I like:

“I decided at 35 there wasn’t room for both of us.  I was terrified.  I had never done anything else for a living but I wasn’t going to live like this.  I walked into his office and said: ‘Dad, there isn’t room for both of us.  Either you go or I do.’  He just stared at me and didn’t say a word.  I turned around and left and went back to work.  I started looking for a job.  A week later he walked in and said ‘Your mother and I have talked and your right.  It’s yours.'”

“Our dad always told us we could own the business and receive compensation from it IF and only if we actually worked in it.  I was the only one who wanted to work in it.  So I bought in and when he retired he sold me the rest of it.  He took care of my other brothers and sisters in his estate but they weren’t allowed to own or benefit from the business without working in it.”

Well, I bet you thought this story was going to be about something else.  Gotcha!!!  But if you have children over 30 in the business you need to be thinking succession and, like it or not, you are one day going to have to get out of their way.  It’ll happen any way…one way or another.  If it were me I would do it while I was still alive so I had something to be proud of.

Expert opinion: What To Say When They Say “Dad Wanted Nothing”

A few years ago I was meeting with a husband and wife who operated a very successful funeral home. Like most successful people they were always looking for new ideas to help them stay in front of their competitors. To protect their privacy I’ll call them Bill and Jane.

Over the course of our two days together we talked about a wide range of marketing topics. At one point Bill was asking my advice on his arrangement process. It seemed that he kept running into the same obstacles over and over again; families that said that Dad didn’t want a funeral, families that said they were told not to make a fuss, families that said they weren’t going to do anything.

We launched into a lively conversation at his white board where we mapped out the entire arrangement process. The board was filled with opening statements, responses, transitions and closing statements. If they say…here’s what you say….if they say that…switch to this…and so forth.

After watching us for about 30 minutes Jane started laughing hysterically. Here’s how the next few moments played out…..

Jane: “you guys are really over complicating things”

Bill: “what are you talking about this is brilliant?”

Me: “Jane, what do you say when someone says Dad didn’t want a funeral?”

Jane: “I ignore the men and turn to the eldest female in the room and ask her how she feels about that. We talk about her feelings, and the feelings of the other women in the family, and then I help her find a compromise.”

Me: “What do you mean by compromise?”

Jane: “The women always want to do something but they feel that their hands are tied. Their loved one said they didn’t want a funeral and they want to honor their wishes. But they still want to do something so they really just need a new option.”

I was curious about how effective her approach was so we checked some of their performance reports. Of the 5 people making arrangements at their funeral home she had the highest average revenue. In fact, the next closest was 25% behind her.

Bill and I had approached the problem from our male perspective. We had looked at the arrangement meeting as a negotiation and had carefully planned each step in the process.

Jane, on the other hand, approached the arrangement meeting as a conversation that included her and the other women in the room. The focus of the meeting was not the social security number or the obituary information or even the events surrounding the death. The focus was on feelings….a topic that makes most men run for the safety of the nearest Home Depot tool aisle.

As I mentioned earlier this experience happened a few years ago. Since then I have studied over twenty books on the topic of marketing to women. My favorite is a book called Why She Buys by Bridget Brennan, which I highly recommend.

In today’s society women control the vast majority of purchase decisions, especially when it concerns a family event (like a funeral).

Gentlemen, if you disagree with me go home and have a conversation with your wife then call your sister to confirm. They will straighten you out.

If you want to see an immediate improvement in your business you do not need to go to an expensive academy to learn new arrangement techniques. You also do not need to bring in an expensive consultant (yes, that includes me). You only need to do three things.

  1. Accept that women are the decision makers.
  2. Learn how to have a conversation with them on their terms.
  3. Help them balance the wishes of their loved one with the needs of the family.

Learning how to communicate with women will definitely help your funeral home business and it may even help your home life as well. In my own study of this topic I have learned to be more comfortable talking about emotions but I’m also careful to spend adequate time at Home Depot just to keep things in balance.

John Callaghan is owner of Funeral Success.com.   His Blog is one of my favorites and I strongly recommend you subscribe

Are You Tired of Burying Your Local Treasure?

My friend, Ed Mazur of Kapinos-Mazur Funeral Home, ran a very successful PR / Public Service program in his local community.  The campaign featured this poster and newspaper ads.  Weekends were set aside to encourage parents to clean out unused medication from their medicine cabinets and bring them to the funeral home.  On the first weekend more than a 1,000 people showed up and the funeral home collected 153 pounds of unused medications.  “YOU GO ED!”  If you want to know more give Ed a call at Kapinos-Mazur.  Maybe he’ll sell you the program.  😉

 

Expert Opinion: Size Matters: Making the Case for Growth

Why is bigger better when it comes to creating memorable experiences?

Look at any successful service business, whether it’s a hospital, a hotel, a restaurant or even a funeral home, and you’re bound to come away with one undeniable message: the experience you create for your customers and guests is crucial to the future of your business. It’s what they remember and talk about, long after they’ve forgotten the price or the products. The next time they’re in a position to buy your service, what they remember is what guides their choice.

It’s why you see the leaders in all kinds of service industries making big investments in designing a better customer experience. They’re also making big investments in facilities, technology and training to ensure that the key elements of the experience are delivered consistently – every element, every customer, every time.

Making Memories

For example: Walt Disney World realized that happy family memories were one of the most important “deliverables” that Disney could provide.  In response, the company invested in rethinking on-site photography to literally make happy memories a saleable product.

Digital photos have long been an amusement park staple – think of those automatic cameras at the top of the roller coaster that capture full-grown adults screaming in zero-g like little girls. Disney took that opportunity to a whole new level, staffing the park with roving photographers who carry top-notch equipment. They’re stationed near every scenic point in the park and trained to reliably take beautiful, memorable family photos, without that awkward moment where you hand your camera or phone to a total stranger and hope for the best.

An important ingredient in Disney’s program is a wireless system where families carry a bar-coded “PhotoPass” that can be scanned by any photographer throughout the vast resort network. That system tags every photo as it’s taken and automatically uploads it to a website where it’s available for purchase by the family, even weeks after they’ve gone back home. A short vacation can produce dozens or even hundreds of high-quality photos, and an average add-on sale of nearly $100 per family.

Funeral Service Opportunities

In funeral service the situation is even more critical, because most people actually host or arrange funerals just once or twice in their lives. Like any other event business, marketing in funeral service depends on the impression you make on the guests. When they attend services (at your firm and at your competition), they’re unconsciously comparison-shopping. As funeral guests they’re getting a free sample of your service that will guide them when it’s their turn to be funeral hosts.

The unhappy reality for most funeral providers is that the free sample isn’t very inspiring.

Having spent a lifetime attending traditional funerals, about 40% of the country has opted out of traditional burial services, choosing cremation instead. In market research, when consumers explain why they choose cremation they often complain about outdated traditions, outdated facilities and outdated content in traditional funeral homes. Since most consumers have never actually purchased or arranged a funeral before, their complaints must be based on your free sample – their experiences as guests.

Why Are We Still Talking About This?

The formula for success in the experience economy isn’t a secret – some magical mystery that only the select few may know. It’s a straightforward matter of investing, first in designing an experience that sets you apart, and then in the People, Place and Process to deliver it consistently. Businesses around the world have mastered it to create a competitive advantage they can count on to help them grow.

Overdependence On An Unreliable Partner

If the answer is that simple, then why are funeral businesses so slow to embrace it? Of course, tradition is part of the answer. Funeral homes have a long tradition of out-sourcing the job of creating event “content” to one of the least predicable partners – the clergy. Driven by the rules of their own denominations and their unique styles as individual ministers, the clergy keep funeral directors guessing about the quality and content of every service right up to the end. Some funeral directors have begun to take over the content-creation themselves, but this usually requires an investment in people and technology. They need celebrants, digital media wizards and audio-visual hardware to build a better service.

Another obstacle to change is the fact that funeral and memorial services are a once-in-a-lifetime event. For each family, this is a never-to-be-repeated, last-ever chance to say good-bye to someone they love. For funeral homes there are no do-overs – just one (and only one) chance to get everything right. There are dozens of details to be managed, and just a day or two to pull everything together. Since most funeral directors work from handwritten notes on the back of the case folder, consistency and reliability are always issues. The fear of getting something wrong can make funeral directors even more conservative and undercut creativity before it starts. The quality of the experience is usually what suffers.

Information systems have real promise as a way to make execution more consistent and reliable in funeral homes. By coupling automatic task lists with mobile web access via smartphones and tablets, we can do a lot to make execution idiot proof. Staff can be reminded wherever they go, and managers can keep tabs on everything that is due (or overdue). Systems are beginning to emerge with these kinds of capabilities, but funeral homes have been slow to adopt them.

The Real Issue & A Better Solution

The biggest reason that funeral homes haven’t joined the Experience Economy is also the simplest – economics. Most funeral homes are just too small to afford the tools they need – better facilities, better technology and better people – to consistently create a better experience and grow the business. A business doing 150 funerals a year can only use its tools about 3 times a week. It’s not going to throw off enough cash to self-finance the improvements that it takes to stay competitive.

Fortunately, better access to working capital can help overcome those limitations. A $200,000 SBA loan at 5% can have payments as low as $1,100 per month. This opens the door to a couple of interesting possibilities.

First and simplest is to invest in those facility and technology improvements now, while they can still create a competitive advantage instead of just helping you catch up with your competitors. Using the industry average funeral of $6,560 and a 20% dynamic profit margin on new cases, it would take just one or two new families per month to fund that investment. To look at it another way, if your New and Improved experience lets you generate a 4% average upsell on your services, you would fund the investment with room to spare.

A final opportunity is the tried and true approach – buying out one of your less capable competitors. Assuming you can negotiate a realistic purchase price (always a big ‘if’ with funeral directors) the economic advantages can be huge. You grow your market share immediately and have more case volume to absorb (and profit from) that New and Improved Funeral Experience you worked so hard to create. The savings from consolidating back-office functions like accounting, transportation and the prep-room will often fund the financing cost and leave profit to spare.

The Common Ingredients

All these strategies have two common ingredients: Vision and Leverage. As a business owner you have a vision of what you want your business to be – a powerful vision of a compelling experience for customers that will give you a lasting competitive advantage. At Live Oak Bank, it’s our job to help provide the final ingredient – the leverage you need to grow your business and make your vision a reality now.

Be sure to attend the session: Size Matters: Why Growing Your Business is Key to Your Future, and How Small Firms Can Make It Happen at The NFDA convention in Charlotte Sunday, October 7 from 3-5PM 

About the Authors

Doug Gober is a Senior Loan Officer with Live Oak Bank. A CPA by training, Doug joined Live Oak after working with some of the leading companies in the funeral industry for more than 30 years, including Batesville, York Casket, Matthews International and Carriage Services.

Paul Seyler is President of Competitive Resources, Inc., a New Orleans-based firm providing research, strategy and execution support to companies both inside and outside the funeral industry.

Why Families Seem Ruder Today and Some Tips on How To Respond

Funeral Directors are increasingly distressed about being treated rudely by families. This rudeness often causes practitioners to lose control of vital conversations at critical moments.  Industry vendors know that Funeral Directors can be very rude as well.   In my opinion the reasons both are rude is fundamentally the same.

And Yes! Funeral Directors can be very rude when they want to be.

This is very important because it is causing a lot of Funeral Directors to lose control in conversations with the public when they should be in control (in control as opposed to taking control).

For several years now we have seen an increase in dysfunctional families in the arrangement conference.  THEY are not in agreement so we struggle to reach consensus.  Emotions run high and we wear ourselves out trying to keep a lid on the scene.

The reason things get out of control is that we are more focused on the content (making arrangements and making them meaningful) and we fail to understand we are equally responsible for influencing the conditions (how people are interacting, body language, etc.)  The one thing, manifested in a myriad of ways, that throws that monkey wrench every time is fear.  So what you are looking for is signs that people are feeling unsafe.  Many funeral directors are relatively adept at this.  It is the new levels of rudeness that is taking them off guard.  They make the mistake of taking it personally rather than seeing it for what it is:  A defense mechanism.

We don’t need to go into all the reasons for feeling unsafe in an arrangements conference or at a funeral.  But people tend to react to this feeling in one of two ways: Silence or Violence.  It is up to you, dear director, to be alert to either of these and recognize and respond to them early.  Rudeness can be classified as violence most of the time but it has a silent mode and that’s the one funeral directors employ so often.

Your job is to create and periodically restore a sense of safety to the conversation.  The first step is to recognize the signals and then the second is to kick your brain into gear and bring everyone back into safety.  Sometimes that takes backbone.  If some one is cussing you out it might be a good tactic to suggest another funeral home might serve their needs better.  Many times humor can work better.  Try to stop talking, look directly at your troublemaker and say something silly like: “Was that your cat I stepped on on the way in?”  and then, of course, shut up.  Maybe suggesting a time out will bring people to the realization they are behaving like children.

Silence and violence have three forms each:

Silence

  • Masking
  • Avoiding
  • Withdrawing

Violence

  • Controlling
  • Labeling
  • Attacking

So what does this have to do with why funeral directors can be rude?

Funeral directors tend to be nice people.  They avoid conflict and confrontation like the plague and hate delivering bad news.  Often they employ rude techniques when dealing with vendors they don’t want to work with. Delivering bad news takes them out of their comfort zone.   They miss appointments, keep people waiting, forget to show up, never return phone calls.  They hope the guy will get the message without realizing the damage done to their own reputation.  If you work long in funeral service you get used to this and realize it is just part of the game we have to play.  In life you have to take the good with the bad.  What most funeral directors don’t realize is that a polite “No” is a kinder and gentler act than the avoidance / withdrawal behavior so often manifested by some of our best practitioners.  Yes, I realize there are vendors who are overly persistent but that just means you need to be a little more assertive yourself.

P.S.  You and your staff can master handling “High Risk” conversations in a course I can deliver for your staff at your funeral home:

“Conversations That Matter”: How to Build Consensus and Relationships Through Positive Communication

Expert Opinion: Some Things Are Obvious

Rick Baldwin

Here is an excerpt of an interrogation of a witness in a Massachusetts trial court:

Lawyer:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

Doctor: no.

Lawyer: did you check for blood pressure?

Doctor: no.

Lawyer: so, it’s possible the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

Doctor: no

Lawyer: how can you be so sure, Doctor?

Doctor: because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Lawyer: even so, couldn’t the patient still have been alive?

Doctor: well, I guess it’s possible he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere!

Some things are just blindingly obvious!

Alan Creedy asked me to read and comment on an article published by the Harvard Business Review from the standpoint of applying its logic to the funeral service industry.

The name of the piece is Integrating Around the Job to Be Done.  The central theme focuses on market segmentation – with market segmentations being defined as the subdivision of markets by “category of product,” or “price point.”  And of course, once a market has been segmented, potential customers for the segmented products may be identified and the various competitors listed (as the enemy).

Until about 1975 or so, the markets for the services of funeral homes was identified as basically everyone who might die – and the competition was identified as the funeral home down the street.  For our relevant history, price was an unimportant competitive determinant.

But then, the cremation societies began to emerge in areas of the country characterized by general family mobility, financial affluence and higher levels of education – and the market for death care services segmented.  Thereafter, funeral homes were no longer the exclusive ‘one size fits all’ providers of death care services.  And of course the markets fractured along the lines of product segmentation [traditional funerals –vs- cremations] and price [the cremation societies advertised their prices whereas it was considered unethical for funeral homes to advertise or to speak about theirs].  By definition, classic market segmentation occurred.

What has happened since then is that the cremation societies became aggressive marketers while most funeral homes remained traditionally passive, aloof.    Today, that segment of customers seeking simplicity and affordability when a life ends increasingly does not hire a funeral home – they hire what has become billed as an affordable specialist.  In practice, as well as by definition, classic market segmentation occurred in the funeral industry.

Can there ever be a return to ‘one size fits all’ market segmentation in the funeral home industry?  I speculate that ‘probably not.’ However, I believe that if traditional funeral homes are to stop the momentum of the cremation societies, and roll-back the profound impact of market segmentation, lots of painful changes will be incorporated into how they think, act, and deliver.

Summarizing my thoughts, here is an imaginary interview with a funeral director by the Harvard Business Review:

HBR:  What do funeral homes do?

Funeral Director: Funeral homes, through their staffs and facilities, care for the dead while attending to the living.

HBR: How do they do that?

Funeral Director: when someone dies, funeral homes arrange observances that generally involve putting the body in a box, gathering friends and family, asking a preacher to recount the benefits of living an upright life that lead to the kingdom of heaven, placing the box the ground, and erecting a memory stone on the place.

HBR:  How long has it been done that way?

Funeral Director: As long as anyone can remember.

HBR:  Is anything different today?

Funeral Director: Yes, almost everything is different.

HBR: How are things different today?

Funeral Director: when someone dies, people increasingly don’t want boxes anymore, friends and family don’t generally live in same town anymore, people don’t trust preachers or believe in heaven anymore, people don’t want burial in the ground, and they don’t want memory stones.  They also want much lower prices.

HBR: What have funeral homes done to adapt – to deflect the negative effects of product and price-based market segmentation?

Funeral Director:  I can’t think of anything.

HBR: Huh?

Some things are just blindingly obvious!

Alan Creedy Comments: If you are looking for a new way of thinking about your market the article referred to by Rick “Integrating Around the Job to Be Done”  written by Clay Christensen, the author of “The Innovator’s Dilemma” is a MUST read.  You can purchase a copy for $6.95 by clicking here.  

 

Death Goes Mainstream

last week in my article “Funerals as Counter Culture” I made a bold statement:

“After 50 years of steady decline in public attitudes towards funerals the pendulum is swinging back our way.  Like Croci in the spring, the signs are poking through the frost…”

No sooner was that article published than I was exposed to an even more dramatic example:

The actual article heralded by the cover page chronicles the trials of a caregiving son and the decline and deaths of his parents.   But its significance as the cover story of Time magazine is profound in another way.  Time wants to sell magazines and magazines draw attention to themselves by their covers.  Now in the week this was published it was competing with such newsworthy events as the syrian massacre and the upcoming Wisconsin recall election.  But what did the editors of Time think would draw the most attention?

In three words… HOW TO DIE… they captured the interest of a rapidly growing number of boomers.  Whether in the context of aging parents or in the context of their own deaths it is a topic that perks up the ears of everyone in my cohort group.

I am telling you as loudly as I can:

BOOMERS WANT TO TALK ABOUT DEATH AND DYING.  

IF NOT YOU THEN WHO?

One cannot help but be reminded of an earlier Time cover.  A cover that arguably heralded a societal shift in the way our nation practices religion and set the stage for an entirely new worship style

1966 Time Cover

Here is what I would do:

  • I would become the local expert on the practical issues of dying
  • I would augment my local speaking with topics like “the good death” “how to die” “living wills” and “how to write creative eulogies and obituaries”
  • I would not overemphasize the emotional aspects.
  • I would become the “go to” expert for my community on resources and ideas.  After all, they think you are any way.

A final postscript.  Those of you who offer grief and bereavement programs will be very tempted to use the people who run those services for you.  I would encourage you not to do that.  This is less about the emotional issues (although they are important) than about the practical issues.  The sub theme is about how they can exercise control over the process.  You might want to read the case study on this website We Stand At The Threshold for greater depth on the Boomer market.

We Stand At The Threshold is password protected.  If you are a subscriber forward the email you received to me at alan@alancreedy.org and I will send you the password.  If you are not a subscriber then subscribe.  Enter your email on the right.  It’s free.

Funerals As Counter Culture

Are we rapidly moving toward a “Post-Funeral”culture?

I don’t think so.

After 50 years of steady decline in public attitudes towards funerals the pendulum is swinging back our way.  Like Croci in the spring, the signs are poking through the frost if you will just look and this week’s post is one excellent example.

30 years ago a handful of brave pastors ignored the then-prevailing cultural surface signals and the revival we have come to know as the “mega-church” movement began.  The common belief at the time was that people just weren’t religious any more.  The actual reality was that many people had a deep need to grow in their faith, they just weren’t getting that need met by the traditional church.  Those churches that reinvented their form to meet the need for a deeper relationship with god experienced both dramatic growth and equally dramatic cultural impact.  If you are close to that movement you know that the founders changed the form while making the substance even stronger.  They demanded things of their constituents who willingly responded that no mainline denomination pastor would dare ask.

I believe we have that same opportunity now as the anti funeral movement begins to lose its voice.

My friend Grant Mckenzie of Sarnia, Ontario shared an amazing article with me last week that illustrates my point well.

In response to the decision of a beloved elder to forgo a funeral, Pastor Edwin Searcy of University Hill United Church of Canada decided to conduct a study group on death in his church in Vancouver, BC.  The results will surprise you.  With his permission it is reproduced in PDF format in its entirety at the bottom of this page.

As a Christian Believer I found this a profoundly insightful article and a personal challenge to examine my own response to funerals in my church.  It both strengthens my faith and challenges me to support my fellow believers in their time of need.  Even if when I don’t know them or their family personally.  Here are some excerpts from Rev. Searcy’s experience with his study group I think you will find interesting:

“They spoke of how empty it feels when there is no opportunity to gather to grieve…”

“Speaking about death in this way was a new experience in the congregation.”

“What really captured the interest of the gathered group were questions of how we as a congregation will deal with death when it occurs.  It was as if we recognized intuitively that in the marking of death we are confronted with powers that seek to erase the church’s memory and entice it to abandon its daring witness.”

“If it is no great loss when someone dies, if it is possible to die and make no noticeable impact on the fabric of the church and the community, then the claims made at baptism are false.  It is critical to the church that every death of one of its number be grieved.”

“A voice in the group questioned the way in which we decide whose funeral to attend…Death is not a private matter that affects only those who are friends and family.  It is a public event that affects the whole church and calls the whole congregation together to grieve and to witness to the good news of god in the face of death.”

“Caring for the dying and for the dead is a practice that disciplines the church to wash the feet of the poorest of the poor.”

“Our elders need to unlearn their fear of becoming a burden, so that the whole congregation has the opportunity to respond to the call to serve and to carry our cross.”

“We noticed that by ignoring and silencing conversations about death we had unwittingly simply absorbed the assumptions of the culture we inhabit.”

“Our study group discovered we have simply adopted the ways in which our culture figures death out.”

There is a nascent global movement afoot to “bring death out of the closet”.  As the last taboo subject “Boomers” the world over are determined to make death a healthy topic of conversation.  Rev. Searcy’s study group is an excellent example of this movement.

So, here is what I would do:

  1. I would print out copies of Rev. Searcy’s article and give copies to each staff member and leave copies in my lobby for the public.
  2. I would make an appointment with every Christian clergy in town and share this article with them and offer to facilitate a discussion group with their church. (You can see a copy of the outline for the first session by clicking here)
  3. I would stop looking down on those funeral practitioners that view their job as a form of ministry because it appears that it really is.

I believe the public wants to talk.  They will find an outlet.  If not you then who?

Reverend Searcy publishes a blog called The Holy Scribbler I encourage you to subscribe.

Click the red lettering below to download the PDF file of Dr. Searcy’s comments.

Funerals as Counter Cultural~Edwin Searcy

New Book on Reinventing Your Business Features Funeral Home

I read a lot and sometimes I preorder new books.  This Winter I preordered “THE REINVENTORS, How Extraordinary Companies Pursue Radical Continuous Change By Jason Jennings.  I started reading it last week and when I turned to page 60 lo and behold what did I see?  My friend Bill McQueen as one of the case study examples of how to reinvent even a moribund industry.

Bill makes up a healthy part of chapter 3 “Picking the Destination” which begins with the statement:

“The main job of the leader is to be a destination expert, to let everyone know where the company is going and make certain that everyone understands and is willing to embrace constant change in order to get there.”

Some excerpts from Bill’s interview are insightful

“This is a business that was and is ripe for reinvention…the real reason things had to change was because we had to be able to offer the quality of life that talented people wanted and that we wanted to provide them”

“We were wrong in concluding that everyone wanting cremation was a price shopper…price shoppers only want one thing…the absolutely lowest price in town.”

“The breakthrough came when we studied cremations in other societies.”

“The success of the first tribute center led McQueen to the realization that they weren’t really in the business of handling bodies but were, instead, in the business of educating and helping people understand the value of ceremony, ritual and the telling of one’s life story. ‘We weren’t going to be in a business that was about caskets, hearses, and cemeteries anymore but, instead, about helping people transition through loss and come out the other side in a state of peace.’ Once they selected a destination the radical reinvention became easy.

I haven’t finished reading it yet but if you want a copy for yourself click on the picture below:

P.S. ICCFA is hosting author Jason Jennings at its Fall Management Conference.

How to Create a 60 Second Elevator Speech

Marketing experts tell us that we should be able to express our unique selling proposition (USP) in such a compelling way in less than 60 seconds that the hearer will ask to know more.  Here is great two step way to do that.

Purpose: Create interest and dialogue about what you do and the value you offer

 

Step One: Create a Problem

Begin by pretending you have been asked, “what do you do?”  Your first order of business must be to cause your audience to experience emotionally the need for your product.  You do that by creating in their imagination a problem.  So, instead of reciting your title or your daily duties or job description ALWAYS BEGIN WITH: “Well, you know how…”.  For instance, I am a business consultant.  My elevator speech begins with:

“Ya know how sometimes we get ourselves into situations and nothing we do seems to work to get us out?

I am also a writer so sometimes I say:

“Ya know how as a small business owner our business environment is changing so fast that every time you think you have an answer the question has changed?”

If I were a funeral director my opening line would be:

“Ya know how when someone dies people are often confused, don’t know what to do or say or where to go and sometimes feel very vulnerable?”

Clearly, the purpose here is to create curiosity and interest as well as a deep unconscious emotional connection.

Step Two: Solve the problem

Having created a problem the second step is simple: solve the problem.

In my consulting practice I say:

“Ya know how sometimes we get ourselves into situations and nothing we do seems to work to get us out?  Well, I have the unique ability to quickly see what needs to be done, separate it from the ‘rabbit trails’ and create a strategy for success. I help business owners build long term profitability and sustainable success without throwing the baby out with the bathwater.”

As a writer I say:

Ya know how as a small business owner our business environment is changing so fast that every time you think you have an answer the question has changed?  Well, I dig deep to see what is really happening clarify what is important and what is not and help people prioritize and implement best practices that enable businesses to adapt more rapidly and effectively.”

As a funeral director I would say:

“Ya know how when someone dies people are often confused, don’t know what to do or say or where to go and sometimes feel very vulnerable?  Well, I use my training and experience to bring order out of chaos and help people figure out what they want and need to do within what they can realistically afford so that there are no regrets and lives are honored in fitting ways.”

That’s it:  Create a problem, solve the problem.  Stop talking let them ask for more.  It’s a 60 SECOND speech.  Not a 60 MINUTE speech.  If they want to know more oblige them if not, move on.  You want a dialogue that will build a relationship not a monologue where you are trying to persuade.

Now, dear reader, why don’t you give it a try and share it in the comments section.  I’ll be glad to give you feedback.

Liking What You Do Is Not The Issue

I was visiting with a friend last week and the conversation went, briefly, to some mutual acquaintances. We noted how angry they had become as their careers had progressed and concluded they were really frustrated with the career they had inherited from their parents. Disappointment is a normal part of life. Some respond with increasing frustration and anger others make lemonade out of lemons. It is not the card you are dealt but what you do with it that matters, it seems.

In this thought provoking video interview with acclaimed author and Harvard Professor, Clayton Christenson we learn a new way of looking at our circumstances. A way I think we in DeathCare have a unique opportunity to exploit.

To Read a copy of Dr. Christensen’s original article “How Will You Measure Your Life?” click on the title.