Tag: deathcare employees

Are You Really A Team…Or Just A Workgroup

Written by Alan Creedy on June 23, 2014. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Leadership. 4 Comments on Are You Really A Team…Or Just A Workgroup

Most people speak of those they work with as a team. But, in my experience, people rarely understand what a team really is.

In funeral service what typically represents a team is really a group of people who are very nice but work towards their own ends independently. If the firm has clear standards and systems then things tend to work smoothly. If not, then hidden beneath the surface is a collection of resentments, hurts and misunderstandings that simply fester. This is called “Artificial Harmony.”

Artificial Harmony is evident in most of the firms I have worked with over my career. In fact, the louder the claims of “we’re like family” and “we function as a team” the more confident I become that I will find that Artificial Harmony is really what is going on.

In reality most business teams, whether in funeral service or some other career area, are really work groups. Few function as true teams. Study after study reveals that true team work environments are more productive, create higher customer satisfaction and generate greater profits.

The difference between a team and a workgroup is simple. A golf team is a workgroup. A group of individuals working independently whose scores are toted up to determine where they stand. The metaphor for a team is a basketball team. Each member is INTERDEPENDENT on the others. No single person can win games as effectively or consistently. It’s not about whether or not they like each other (although I am sure many of them do). It is about a shared vision of reality, common goals and leveraging each others strengths and (most of all) have trust and confidence in your teammates.

Members of teams hold each other accountable to the team for their performance. It does no good to “bear” the underperformance of another with a smile because you “hate confrontation.” To do so means the team loses. No, instead, true team members recognize their responsibility to carry their respective weight and fulfill their responsibility to the whole.

Years ago I saw a needlepoint in a client’s office. I went home and printed it on a regular size piece of paper, framed it and now it hangs on my wall:

“A man (or woman) can do anything in a business,

as long as the holy spirit is in control,

and no one cares who gets the credit”

Esse Quam Videri

Written by Alan Creedy on February 12, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, General Topics. 3 Comments on Esse Quam Videri

I have to admit I tense up whenever someone begins using the Ritz Carlton as an example Funeral Service should use to fashion its own customer service profile. Not that we can’t learn some things from the Ritz. We most certainly can! But it is a dangerous recommendation when we fail to “Go Deep” on the pain and effort it took for the Ritz to get to that level of service. Another example of mistaking form for substance.

I have now lived in North Carolina for almost 28 years. Within a year or so of arriving I noticed that the state motto is “Esse Quam Videri” which is latin for:

“To Be Rather Than To Seem”

I can’t find anyone who knows the genesis of that motto but I like it and have adopted it for my own. It’s a good standard and it’s good to have a standard. Especially when you fail to meet it. And that is really the story of the Ritz Carlton.

All too often we see something that works somewhere and we adopt what we see without really understanding the substance behind it. For the past 20 years I have witnessed many main line denominational churches send committees out to study the exploding megachurch movement. All come back with the outer cosmetic trappings. They change the music and often the ambiance but they never get to the deeper essence of what is really causing those churches to grow the way they do.

In the mid 1980’s, on behalf of my clients, I made a case study of the Ritz Carlton. They were then, as they are now, extremely gracious. It was entirely open book. I was introduced to the whole story of blood, sweat and tears or rather the herculean 10 year single-minded effort of Horst Schulz and his merry band of executives as they set about changing the culture of the Ritz. No small effort.

And that is really my point. Adopting “country club manners” was only the visible part. The focus and intentionality of achieving their vision was, by far, the most impressive. You see, it is not enough at the Ritz Carlton to ACT like a lady or a gentleman. You must actually BE a lady or a gentleman. And that is the key to any successful organizational change.

Your DNA must change

My wife and I have become addicts of Masterpiece theater’s “Downton Abbey“. In the presence of the Lords and Ladies the “help” puts on their best face. But downstairs in the servant’s work area they are as dysfunctional as any funeral home staff I have ever met. At the Ritz that would not be tolerated. The turnover rate at the average hotel (luxury or otherwise) is startling high. The Ritz turnover is a fraction of the industry average but it is still about 25%. That is partly because at the Ritz if you can’t BE a lady or gentleman…you simply can’t stay.

Click here for a copy of the Ritz Carlton Values Card

Click here for a copy of the Ritz Carlton Baldridge Award Application

Why Families Seem Ruder Today and Some Tips on How To Respond

Written by Alan Creedy on June 25, 2012. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 3 Comments on Why Families Seem Ruder Today and Some Tips on How To Respond

Funeral Directors are increasingly distressed about being treated rudely by families. This rudeness often causes practitioners to lose control of vital conversations at critical moments. Industry vendors know that Funeral Directors can be very rude as well. In my opinion the reasons both are rude is fundamentally the same.

And Yes! Funeral Directors can be very rude when they want to be.

This is very important because it is causing a lot of Funeral Directors to lose control in conversations with the public when they should be in control (in control as opposed to taking control).

For several years now we have seen an increase in dysfunctional families in the arrangement conference. THEY are not in agreement so we struggle to reach consensus. Emotions run high and we wear ourselves out trying to keep a lid on the scene.

The reason things get out of control is that we are more focused on the content (making arrangements and making them meaningful) and we fail to understand we are equally responsible for influencing the conditions (how people are interacting, body language, etc.) The one thing, manifested in a myriad of ways, that throws that monkey wrench every time is fear. So what you are looking for is signs that people are feeling unsafe. Many funeral directors are relatively adept at this. It is the new levels of rudeness that is taking them off guard. They make the mistake of taking it personally rather than seeing it for what it is: A defense mechanism.

We don’t need to go into all the reasons for feeling unsafe in an arrangements conference or at a funeral. But people tend to react to this feeling in one of two ways: Silence or Violence. It is up to you, dear director, to be alert to either of these and recognize and respond to them early. Rudeness can be classified as violence most of the time but it has a silent mode and that’s the one funeral directors employ so often.

Your job is to create and periodically restore a sense of safety to the conversation. The first step is to recognize the signals and then the second is to kick your brain into gear and bring everyone back into safety. Sometimes that takes backbone. If some one is cussing you out it might be a good tactic to suggest another funeral home might serve their needs better. Many times humor can work better. Try to stop talking, look directly at your troublemaker and say something silly like: “Was that your cat I stepped on on the way in?” and then, of course, shut up. Maybe suggesting a time out will bring people to the realization they are behaving like children.

Silence and violence have three forms each:

Silence

Masking
Avoiding
Withdrawing

Violence

Controlling
Labeling
Attacking

So what does this have to do with why funeral directors can be rude?

Funeral directors tend to be nice people. They avoid conflict and confrontation like the plague and hate delivering bad news. Often they employ rude techniques when dealing with vendors they don’t want to work with. Delivering bad news takes them out of their comfort zone. They miss appointments, keep people waiting, forget to show up, never return phone calls. They hope the guy will get the message without realizing the damage done to their own reputation. If you work long in funeral service you get used to this and realize it is just part of the game we have to play. In life you have to take the good with the bad. What most funeral directors don’t realize is that a polite “No” is a kinder and gentler act than the avoidance / withdrawal behavior so often manifested by some of our best practitioners. Yes, I realize there are vendors who are overly persistent but that just means you need to be a little more assertive yourself.

P.S. You and your staff can master handling “High Risk” conversations in a course I can deliver for your staff at your funeral home:

“Conversations That Matter”: How to Build Consensus and Relationships Through Positive Communication

Managers Vs. Leaders: Which Are You?

Written by Alan Creedy on January 24, 2011. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 2 Comments on Managers Vs. Leaders: Which Are You?

As a student of leadership and as a “Benchmark” Assessor for the Center for Creative Leadership, I am well aware of the impact poor leadership has on results. The problem, in my mind, is the historical emphasis on styles more appropriate to factory settings than businesses that actually interface with the public.

The difference between a manager and a leader is significant and that point is often missed. Both are responsible for accomplishing goals but one has a greater responsibility of setting goals than the other. Both are responsible for optimizing performance but one is focused almost entirely on the day to day while the other must balance the day to day with the bigger picture of how to prepare for the future.

The dysfunctionality of the manufacturing style of managing has been widely known for at least two decades. It gets work done but does not optimize performance. As Drucker says so eloquently: It creates “job impoverishment, not job enrichment”. Building a team of high performers is quickly becoming one of the Critical Keys to Success for all businesses but even more so for DeathCare.

I am a “semi fan” of Seth Godin’s. As a rule ranters make me uncomfortable. But I subscribe to his blog because every six weeks or so he coughs up a gem and this link is one. It will take you two minutes so Click here to read it for yourself.

The Emperor Has No Clothes

Written by Alan Creedy on January 11, 2011. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 5 Comments on The Emperor Has No Clothes

What employee turnover reveals about your leadership.

Employee turnover can reveal a lot of things. Surely turnover is normal but both too much and too little are signs of serious management issues. The pressures of the last ten years have led many in DeathCare to be frustrated with their employees. An attitude has sprung up that suggests a feeling like: “If somehow I could just fix my employees everything would be alright.”

High turnover rates and no turnover rates are actually two sides of the same coin. Both indicate an unwillingness to develop people and poor to nonexistent communication skills. It is the leader’s role to communicate what is expected of people, to follow through and to teach and to develop. High turnover indicates they have put too much pressure on people to meet expectations without giving them the tools and resources to do the job. Tools and resources include emotional support and guidance. Having no turnover is just as bad. If you are a firm of any size it is impossible that you haven’t got at least one person who doesn’t belong. Even Jesus made a bad hire although He did it on purpose to fulfill prophesy. Most often, when someone tells me (usually with some pride) that no one ever leaves I am willing to take a bet that they have several aimless people who couldn’t find work elsewhere who are just showing up for a paycheck.

Drucker’s Orchestra metaphor is the best illustration:

When a new orchestra leader takes over a poorly performing orchestra he does not have the luxury of letting everyone go and replacing them with top performers. Instead, he must ferret out the worst and work with the remaining average players to help them want to work at peak levels

Great leaders do 4 things extremely well:

Select the right people
Set clear expectations
Motivate people to do their best
Develop people

Interestingly, there are 8 things employees really want from leaders:

Tell me my role, what to do, and give me the rules
1. Clear direction
2. Parameters so they can work within broad outlines.
Discipline my coworker who is out of line
1. Hold people accountable-be fair but hold fast to what is and is not acceptable
Get me excited
1. About the company
2. About what we do
3. About where I fit
Don’t forget to praise me
Don’t scare me
1. They don’t really need to know about everything you worry about
2. Don’t lose your temper
3. Be fair and consistent
Impress me
1. be bold
2. or be creative
3. or be smart
Give me some autonomy
1. Give me a special project
2. Trust me with an opportunity
Set me up to win
1. Indecisive leaders frustrate everyone and make them feel defeated

Do you find it interesting that financial incentives aren’t on this list? Turns out that money is only a demotivator. If you aren’t paid fairly it will demotivate you. Overpaying you will not motivate you or make you more loyal.

The Tyranny of the Ten Call Man

Written by Alan Creedy on August 10, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 4 Comments on The Tyranny of the Ten Call Man

A Management lesson from the bible

One of the most common and pervasive staffing problems in funeral service is the man or woman who undermines almost every current and future issue management tries to address. They are the “Mayor of the Prep Room”. No matter what initiative you attempt, they quietly work behind the scenes to undo it. Sometimes they employ a subtle mechanism I call being “cooperatively uncooperative”. This means giving the appearance of being on board but quietly “forgetting” to do what they have promised. Worse they are absolute geniuses in providing what seem reasonable excuses why exceptions must be made. As “Mayor of the Prep Room” every attempt to communicate to staff is answered by a meeting after the meeting where they hold forth on “what we are really going to do.” The worst of them are blatant about simply ignoring expectations and just doing things the way they want rather than the way the are asked to do them. Effectively daring management to “Make Me.”

An example is worthwhile. Recently the more progressive funeral homes have implemented monthly, weekly and even daily staff meetings. Attendance is mandatory. Yet every owner that has been successful in establishing regular meetings has shared with me that it meant they had to chase down and face down at least one staff member repeatedly to make them attend. Many owners and managers simply gave up trying and either exempted them or stopped having meetings. This obviously caused other employees to lose heart and wonder (sometimes openly) who was really running the business. Formal power said the owner –but informal power didn’t agree.

Why do owners and managers allow this behavior? They say that it’s because they believe the person is too valuable to lose. They have convinced themselves that they would lose 10, 20 or 30 calls. And maybe they would. But over time the lack of progress in responding to the many challenges we face and the loss of employee morale (not to mention the loss of owner morale) cost much much more than the loss of those calls. I call these trouble makers “ten call men” because the owners live in daily fear they control that many calls.

I don’t like “ten call men” because they arrogantly wield informal power and prevent opportunity without assuming any risk. They play owners and managers like puppets.

Jim Collins, in his “must-read” book, “Good To Great” makes this observation about them:

“We have a wrong person on the bus and we know it. Yet we wait, we delay, we try alternatives, we give a third and fourth chance…we build little systems to compensate for shortcomings…We find our energy diverted…that one person siphons energy away from developing and working with the right people.

Letting the wrong people hang around is unfair to the right people…

The reason we wait too long often has less to do with concern for that person than our own convenience…Meanwhile all the other people are still wondering: ‘when are you going to do something about this?'”

It is not unusual in my consulting practice to find inspiration in The Bible. On more than one occasion a verse from Proverbs has enabled clients to take long delayed but desperately needed action:

“Cast out the scorner and contention will go out; yea strife and reproach shall cease” Proverbs 22:10

How “Best Purpose” Trumps “Best Practice”

Written by Alan Creedy on May 24, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 2 Comments on How “Best Purpose” Trumps “Best Practice”

How a part time hostess taught me the most valuable lesson.

It was late 1989. Rachel was then in her mid 70’s. A retired school teacher, she had worked for us for about 6 or 7 years. She was a quiet, unassuming and gracious woman who had that gift of always making you feel welcome. As a part time hostess she was stationed by the front door of our main facility during public hours…often during visitations. I was President of the nation’s oldest and among its most prestigious independently owned funeral homes. We served 850 families and operated two cemeteries and a crematory. Rachel always received more positive comments on our Family Surveys than any other employee full or part time.

The funeral home was widely respected and even admired by both the public we served and professional colleagues for its high standards of service. We believed our 70% + market share was a direct result of those high standards. Certainly, they were a large part of our success.

But Rachel taught me an important lesson about an even more powerful market driver: Best Purpose.

Part of the reason that company was so admired for its high standard of service was a very rigid and unyielding set of employee expectations. We all had a clear understanding of the “musts” and “must-nots” of our daily behavior and routine. Mistakes were typically only made once, if they were made at all. But lest you think this was some closely watched and supervised culture, I should be clear. The resulting quality and superior performance created a level of “Esprit De Corps” that made the behaviors more or less “self sustaining.” The problem was not in the performance but in the unrecognized limitation on “above and beyond” initiative that it unconsciously imposed.

Rachel, independently and without permission, deviated from one of our “cast-in-stone” rules and I was delegated to tell her not to do it again.

Raleigh, NC, where I live, continues to this day to prefer receiving lines over mingling. We discovered that about half way through visitations Rachel was taking the initiative to bring a glass of water to the widow or widower. Food and beverage of any kind was strictly forbidden in any of the public areas of our buildings. It was this act of kindness that I was told to stop. Now, lest you be too harsh, this was the 1980’s and this type of courtesy was not so obvious back then. And besides, this story is not about rules (good or bad) it is about purpose which we had but did not emphasize.

I began my conversation reminding Rachel of the rules and asking her why she was doing it. She responding so graciously that I still remember it. She said, “Mr. Creedy, I understand the rule. But when you buried my husband I remember standing in that same line and thinking I would kill for a glass of water. So, I try to make their life a little easier by bringing it to them.” I remember answering: “Rachel, you just forget that we had this conversation and continue what you are doing.” I went back to the owner and told him that Rachel was doing the right thing and we all needed to be thinking like Rachel.

The lesson is this: Maybe the company was successful because of its high standards but Rachel was more successful because she had a higher purpose.

What is your purpose? If I asked you without warning, could you tell me in less than 60 seconds without thinking? Could your staff?

Simon Cooper, President and COO of Ritz Carlton Hotels, strives for “Scriptless Service.” This means that employees must be able to think, anticipate and act without being told. They must have the ability and latitude to take initiative when they see an opportunity to help a guest.

Rachel taught me that the highest of standards and expectations without clarity of purpose can cause us to miss the most important things.

How people behave is what they believe. Does the behavior of your staff indicate they have high standards and high purpose? Does your behavior?

You may reprint this article by including the following on your publication:

Why Are We Here?

Written by Alan Creedy on May 13, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 1 Comment on Why Are We Here?

An Easy, Practical Way to Engage Staff

In an aprocryphal story a “burned out” Russian Priest takes a sabbatical in a wilderness retreat hoping for renewal and reenergizing. Depressed and discouraged, he takes a walk in the nearby woods and stumbles on a military encampment. Immediately, he is challenged by the sentry: “Halt, who are you and why are you here?” The priest responds, “What did you say?” The sentry repeats his challenge: “Who are you and why are you here?” Now the priest asks his own question: “What do they pay you?” Startled, the sentry responds, “What does that have to do with anything?” To which the priest replies: “Because I will pay you that for the rest of my life to ask me those two questions every day!”

Who are we and why are we here?

The answer to these two questions is one of the secrets to engagement. We talk a lot about motivating employees. But what we really want is engaged employees. Employees who see meaning and purpose in their work. Employees who see their job not as a task but as a responsibility. Connecting meaning and purpose is the way to do that.

Zig Ziglar talks about his “Wall of Gratitude” where he keeps photos of people who have meant something to him. I don’t have a wall but I do have a “Book of Gratitude“. When I look at it I am often renewed.

Maybe one thing we could do is take a wall in a non public part of our building and put a sign over it that says: “Why We Are Here” and then put photos of those we have been privileged to serve over the past year. Maybe some of those pictures could include pictures of people hugging our staff. I am told that happens every once in a while. Then on those bad days we could go stand in front of that wall and remember “Who We Are and Why We Are Here.” Yes it will take some work, but not much, and my bet is you will start to become even more creative and add pictures of folks I haven’t mentioned here that give meaning and purpose to what you do.