Skip to main content
Toll Free Number: (919) 280-1217

Tag: funeral home consulting

The Case of The Reluctant Successor

Case Studies in Succession Planning:

The Case of the Reluctant Successor

It comes as a surprise to most owners to learn that more than 50% of potential successors, whether they be children or key employees, either don’t want the business or can’t swing it financially.  But many owners operate on the assumption that when it comes time to retire it will be an easy and stress free transition.

There are two elements at work in a sale or transition to insiders to be aware of:

  1. Most owners fail to validate their assumption relative to interest or ability.  They may discuss it in abstract terms but never get down to the how.  Given the human penchant for deferring issues until they happen it is not unusual for this door to be closed in the 11th hour
  2. Most owners fail to prepare their successor.  I have had many experiences with 45 year old children who have never seen the company financial statements.

Jesse Milhouse is 65 and has decided it is time to “slow down.” His son, Jason (30), and his daughter, Jackie (28), have worked for him since graduating mortuary school. Both are funeral directors and embalmers.

When Jesse approached them about buying him out he was surprised to learn they weren’t “sure” they wanted to do that.  Both were just starting families and didn’t feel they were ready or able to run the business without dad.  No wonder, dad had done nothing to prepare them either practically or emotionally.  Jason, in particular, wasn’t even sure he wanted to be in the funeral business.

Disappointed, Jesse took a step back.  He and his wife, Ann, asked me to come visit with them.

I spent time interviewing Jesse and Ann and then Jason and Jackie.  I learned that, while Ann and Jesse had always assumed that the kids would succeed them, they had never talked about it as a family.  In recent years Jesse had become increasingly frustrated with the direction funeral service was taking.  That frustration, in turn, had been expressed in the form of discouragement and anger.  Jason and Jackie had internalized their dad’s behavior as indicating there wasn’t really a viable future.  This gave them pause relative to whether they wanted to spend 30 to 40 years in a declining industry.

We concluded that the issue was twofold:

  1. Was Jesse’s current perspective on the future valid or not?
  2. Jason and Jackie needed to be developed into roles that could make them successful in 21st Century Funeral Service.

Since I believe that the future is a lot brighter than most believe, I recommended that they give it two more years and adopt a plan to see if they can have an impact on the business and for Jason and Jackie to determine if it will be a rewarding career.

Our first step was to train Jason and Jackie on the arrangement interview techniques that are part of our Service Charge Merchandising system.  We also guided Jesse, Jason and Jackie as well as the admin team on assimilating the “Radical Hospitality” concept.

So far, they feel like they are making progress.  They are picking up calls they wouldn’t have served before.  Their average sale has increased by more than 10% without raising prices.  Jason and Jackie are feeling much more confident about themselves and the future.  Best of all, they recently reported they all love the feeling of wanting to go to work instead of having to go to work…including Jesse.

At this writing the jury is still out.  But things are going in the right direction.  A happy byproduct is that, if Jason and / or Jackie decide not to buy it, the firm will be significantly more attractive and valuable to a third party buyer.

Key takeaway:

  • Watch your attitude
    • If it’s a bad deal for you why would it be a good deal for them?
  • Talk about it early, often and specifically
  • Prepare them for assuming ownership
  • Get your act together
    • Don’t expect you successor to clean up your mess

 

 

Six Blind Funeral Directors – Third Installment

Six Blind Funeral Directors – Third Installment

In our prior two installments we looked at our future from a theoretical perspective and a rational perspective.  This installment we will focus on a contextual perspective.

A Contextual Approach To The Future

 A study of the evolution of contemporary American DeathCare beginning in 1850 suggests that our current transformation is the fifth in a series of iterative transformations.  Each, including this one, is a response to changes in society and culture.

Compare the skill sets necessary for success in 1850 (livery and cabinet making) with the, yet undefined, skill sets necessary for success today and the difference is worlds apart.  This is not our first rodeo.  Imagine you are the 30-year-old son of a coffin maker coming home from the very first NFDA convention in 1880 and telling your coffin – maker dad that you were going to get your embalmer’s certificate and the company needed to switch to premade caskets instead of making coffins. I just can’t see that conversation going well.

Just 30 years ago the primary skill sets for funeral directors were embalming, casket merchandising and never making a mistake.  Today, people skills dominate as well as teaching (better word: coaching), listening and creating.

So, in context, this is the fifth time in our history we have needed to respond to cultural changes by assimilating new and different skill sets.  Those that seek out and embrace those new skill sets will realize the “First Mover” advantage.

Each time we have undergone transformation we have emerged better and stronger and I am hopeful we can do the same now.  What is needed are two insights.  The first has to do with what has not changed. And the second with what we need to become.  In other words: “we need to change the bathwater without discarding the babies.”

What has not changed and is a thread that reaches back over at least 4,000 years of recorded history and beyond is the human response to death.  This includes both the deceased and their survivors.  That core need is the same today that it was from the beginning of time.  The substance has not changed but the form has.  The essence or consistent theme has only changed relative to its expression and platform.  When death occurs, humans need to gather, comfort one another, and affirm the meaning of life (the deceased and our own).  There are probably other ways to describe it but in a succinct way those are the common elements, the three universal drivers that reach across all individual preferences.  You can change the form, the ritual, the process, the venue; but those three elements are constant.

That leaves us with what we need to become.  Clearly, in much the same way coffin makers and livery providers yielded to embalmers and casket sellers, we need to move to the next generation of funeral director: Muse, creator, guide, teacher, trusted advisor.  Each of these involves that we take on new roles.  We have done that before and we can do it now.  What makes this reinvention a challenge is that it requires us to abandon our historical bias toward being unobtrusive.  These are active roles producing intentional outcomes.  “What do you want?,” is no longer a relevant question.

Next week, the fourth and final installment: What, Then, Shall We Become.

Six Blind Funeral Directors – 2nd installment

Six Blind Funeral Directors – 2nd installment

A Rational Approach To The Future

Last week we explored the theoretical approach to our future using the allegory of the Six Blind Funeral Directors.  This week we explore a Rational Approach.

Our first question is: What do we know?

We know that our market has changed and most of us have not.  We know that the public wants something different, but we aren’t sure what it is.  We know that we are spending more time explaining our value to the public and to ourselves than we used to.  We also know we aren’t completely sure what our value is…at least, in consumer terms.  We know what customers should do and at the same time we know what they don’t want to do.

30 years ago, our product was simple.  Society defined what to do when someone died and thereby defined value.  Consumers only had two choices to make: which funeral home to use and what merchandise to buy.  Today, our product is complex.  Society is no longer dictating what to do but it is inferring what not to do.  So, the definition of value has become ambiguous.  Without the necessary clarity value defaults to price.  For the first time in our country’s history, doing nothing is an option.

Rationally, we must be assertive in defining value and expressing it in a way that connects with the public.  This is both difficult and stressful because funeral service has always been passive, unobtrusive and servile in its relationship with the market. When societal norms were in our favor, that made sense.  But if we want to reverse current trends, we are going to have to take responsibility and become assertive.  Fortunately, there is much to say in our defense…we just have to say it in the right way.

The second question is:  What is the right way?

Consumers are already telling us the answer.  They want a collaborative interactive approach.  They want the funeral director to be more active as a mentor and muse helping them define meaning and a realistic, practical way to express why the life of the deceased mattered.  It really isn’t any harder than that.

The conventional arrangement conference has highly transactional overtones.  When society told us what to do, that made sense. Consumers, today, find that approach objectionable.  So, our first step is to learn how to make funeral arrangements in collaborative ways with mutually beneficial outcomes.  I like to refer to that method as “Appreciative Inquiry.”  I borrowed that term from Organizational Theory.  If you look up the definition in Wikipedia it will give you a good idea of how it is different.

Some of you are aware that Danny Jefferson and I have launched a consulting company called Two Guys and a Question.   We train funeral directors how to Merchandise their Service Charge.  We rely heavily on appreciative inquiry which results in greater bonding with family.  That, in turn, creates a safe environment for people to explore options.  This exploration results in increased average sale as well as increased volume.

Next week: Chapter 3 A Contextual Approach 

Six Blind Funeral Directors Describe Our Future

Six Blind Funeral Directors Describe Our Future

Chapter 1 The Theory of DeathCare

We are all familiar with the parable of the six blind men describing an elephant.  As we struggle with imagining the future of funeral service a survey of trade journal articles and convention agendas can’t help but bring this parable to mind.  One industry guru believes that price is the only thing people care about. Another believes that the future is in making arrangements online and still another believes ceremony is our salvation. Yet another believes it is all about cremation.  And then there is pet cremation.  And the list goes on, never answering the simple yet direct question posed in Blue Ocean Strategy:

What are the 3 universal value drivers today’s market finds most attractive?

Our focus on the activities of the process has made us blind to the essence of the market. The essence is where the solution lays.

My favorite author, Peter Drucker, once asked the question: “Why do successful industries run by capable people so often decline and just as often disappear?”  His conclusion was interesting.

He believed that the answer did not lie in people doing wrong things or even making wrong decisions.  His thought was that every successful industry is based on a theory.  That theory defines the customer, the product and even the purpose of that product in narrow and manageable ways.  In the beginning, the theory is relevant…it works. As time elapses, the theory becomes a paradigm.  Unfortunately, society never stands still. So, as more time elapses the theory wears thin. But no one notices until the industry is either internally or externally disrupted.  Then, rather than revisit the prevailing theory / paradigm, practitioners resist until resistance fails to work.  Some companies like Procter and Gamble and, in our own profession, The Mount Pleasant Group, have cultures that equip them to adapt.  But most simply get absorbed or fail.  From buggy whips to computers there are endless examples.

I believe the conventional theory on which DeathCare is based (caskets, vehicles and unobtrusive servility) has worn very, very thin.  It is dangerously close to becoming an anachronism. So much so, that in a few markets like Southern Florida it is no longer relevant.  But a new theory has not yet emerged that shows significant promise.

As we wait for that new unifying theory I am also conflicted.  I believe that efforts to resolve our challenges is causing some to throw babies out with the bathwater.  I further believe there are babies in that bathwater and to abandon them without serious consideration makes no sense to me.

Next week Chapter 2: A Rational Approach

Obituaries and Artificial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligence – Doing more efficiently that which is already done poorly.

It’s all the buzz – Artificial Intelligence. Of course the excitable “hand wringers” among us are already speculating about its disruptive potential. Perhaps this time they are right.  It remains to be seen.

AI’s first toehold is in the writing of obituaries. Feeling, as I do, that obituary writing has become far too mundane and formulaic this makes sense.  But the initial results, in my opinion, are disappointing.  Out of curiosity, I sought out several firms who are experimenting with AI obituaries and my response is underwhelming.  It appears that AI, at best, is simply making more efficient a task that is in dire need of reinvention. As so often happens, funeral directors mistake efficiency for effectiveness.

I was hoping that AI would be able to make the obituary more robust, engaging and personal.  Instead it perpetuates the same old industrial template of the past. In fact, having read multiple obituaries written by the same AI program there was a notable sameness to each.  I doubt most people would read multiple obituaries from the same site so maybe it doesn’t matter. Still, they left me with the same one or two dimensional insight to the deceased that all obituaries have given me.

Well, Alan, how can we do this differently?

To me the obituary and how it is written is one of the more powerful ways we can differentiate ourselves.  Think of it this way: to me, the standard obituary is black and white; a great obituary is color.  Meaning that I get a much richer and more robust sense of who the person was and maybe it even generates a sadness I didn’t know them better.

I am told AI will improve with time.  But for now, I think humans can do better. But only if they will.

I recently encountered a simple yet effective (and efficient too) approach to obituaries that takes the standard black and white obituary and causes it to blossom into full 3D color.  There is no question in my mind that I would jump on this method.  I believe it will do much more than differentiate you from the competition but substantially improve your family loyalty.

You can check it out here:  The Healing Obituary

Disclaimer: I have no business relationship formal or otherwise with The Healing Obituary.  I just believe they can make a positive difference in our profession and for your firm.

 

 

Global Pandemic: How Should We Then Live

I know this is a politically charged topic. It is not my intent to influence anyone’s perspective.  These words so precisely express my own viewpoint and are so encouraging to me that I feel compelled to share them.

The words of C.S. Lewis guide us yet today.

It’s now clear that COVID-19 is a deadly serious global pandemic, and all necessary precautions should be taken. Still, C. S. Lewis’s words—written 72 years ago—ring with some relevance for us. Just replace “atomic bomb” with “coronavirus.”

In one way we think a great deal too much of the atomic bomb. “How are we to live in an atomic age?” I am tempted to reply: “Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents.” In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented: and quite a high percentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one very great advantage over our ancestors—anesthetics; but we have that still.

It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty.

This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds. —

“On Living in an Atomic Age” (1948) in Present Concerns: Journalistic Essays

First posted by Matt Smethurst

End of Watch

As I write this it is July 27, 2020 and so far this year more than 140 police officers have sacrificed their lives for you and for me. 19 so far in July alone. Yet, the mainstream media excoriates them for doing their job. Demonstrators humiliate and physically assault and even murder them by ambush. Worse, the ordinary citizen does nothing.

If I were a funeral home owner here is what I would do. 

Every time a police officer or firefighter or EMS technician lost their life in the line of duty anywhere in the United States I would post their picture and their obituary on my website obituary page.  For those killed by violence I would print one of those poster sized portraits put it on an easel and invite the public to come and sign the register book.  I might also find a place for people to make memorial contributions. I would probably put up a sign on the street side of my building to advertise it.

Yup, I know.  If this year continues like it has you will be doing this 2,3,4 and 5 times a week. I think if they can give their life I can do the time and spend the money.

We are in the business of celebrating lives, honoring the dead and comforting the grieving. This is a place we can stand up against what looks like a movement to tyranny.  We don’t have to be political but it is our duty to honor the fallen.

Here is a link to a site complete with photos and obituaries.

http://www.odmp.org/search/year

This is a way to show support for first responders in your area.

Don’t Just Stand There… Do Something.

Police Officer Ismael Chavez

McAllen Texas

End Of Watch July 11, 2020

ISMAEL CHAVEZ

Police Officer Ismael Chavez and Police Officer Edelmiro Garza were shot and killed from ambush while responding to a domestic disturbance call at a home in the 3500 block of Queta Street.

They had approached the front door of the home when they were suddenly ambushed and shot before drawing their weapons or making an emergency broadcast. Other officers who were sent to check on them came across the scene and immediately requested backup.

The subject who ambushed them committed suicide as additional units arrived on scene.

Officer Chavez had served with the McAllen Police Department for 2-1/2 years.

Covid – 19 and The Reinvention of Spring Burials

Covid – 19 and The Reinvention of Spring Burials

Talking with funeral directors across the nation and Canada I am hearing (as you are experiencing) that you are busy but the services are mostly abbreviated or direct. So your revenue is deeply affected. Many wonder what funeral service will be like after we struggle to return to normal.

I am a “true believer” in the value of gathering.  I believe that humans need to be together during times like these which leads me to conclude that, no matter what the proponents of electronic funerals say, nothing will ever really replace a human hug.  This social distancing thing is the proper approach but it ignores the need for human connection and is, therefore unnatural.  I suspect, at an unconscious level, many of your customers and their friends are feeling this.

At the risk of seeming arrogant, I think that if I were in your place I would seriously consider reinventing the spring burial.

Years ago funeral homes in colder climates would hold a funeral for those who died in winter and then postpone the burial until the ground thawed. They would store the casketed body.  Hence: “Spring Burial.” If I were you I would make a presumptive close with each family (including cremations).  I would say something like:

“It’s unfortunate we can’t have a full gathering and service with people present. We have learned that human interaction at the physical level is critical to the healing process. So we are scheduling memorial services for later this year.  We have openings for June 17.  Would that be a good date for you?  That way everyone would know when to schedule to come.”

For those that don’t elect to choose that option I would hold, at a date in the fall, a community gathering to celebrate all the deaths.  I might have a bell I rung as each name were read aloud.  I would invite not only the families but the community.  (remember, by then, people will be looking for human contact). I might even host a barbecue.  BUT VERY DEFINITELY, I would stand up and address the attendees to this community life celebration and remind them why gathering is so important to the healing process.

My two cents…take it or leave it.

Creedy Not Bloodless After All

Blood Drives…Something You Can Do During the Pandemic

Well there is a picture you can’t unsee. Me giving blood at Pierce Jefferson Funeral Home in Greensboro.

A few weeks ago I suggested to some of my clients they hold a blood drive. Several of them took me up on it. The first was Danny Jefferson at Pierce Jefferson in Kernersville and Greensboro, NC. In association with the Red Cross he is holding two blood drives. At this first one he had twice the volunteers give blood than they projected. Kernersville, will be this week.

This is a great way to give people in your community something constructive to do during the pandemic with you in the center. Sorry, but sometimes it’s ok to be self serving.

If you want to pick Danny’s brain you can call him at ‭(336) 993-2121‬

Blood drive set up in chapel. Note the “Share Life” Wall in the back.
Red Cross vehicles parked by the sign on Greensboro’s most heavily trafficked street.

Callaway – Jones Stay At Home Arrangements Helper

Callaway Jones Funeral offers “Stay At Home” Arrangement Helper.

My friend, Cody Jones, of Callaway – Jones Funeral Home is offering a guide for his customers to prepare for arrangement conferences, sign documents and make choices.  He has given permission to share it.  click on the link below. And while you are there explore his website.  It’s one of the best I have seen.

Stay at Home Arrangement Helper

CRaKN WAIVES CASE FEES

CRäKN ELIMINATES CASE FEES DURING CORONA CRISIS

TO HELP FUNERAL DIRECTORS WORK FROM HOME

CRäKN is a relatively new funeral management tool that enables funeral directors to coordinate all aspects of delivering services via smart phone and pc.  You and your staff and many of your vendors interact remotely in real time. CRäKN facilitates every part of arranging and coordinating a service in ways that are faster and more secure than ever before and it works even better remotely.  

CRäKN is the only funeral management tool to be introduced in funeral service that actually puts time back in your day and, because of its safeguard features, increases your confidence in your ability to execute seamlessly.  It’s electronic coordination features eliminate the need to make even one phone call to coordinate. This includes clergy, full time and part time staff.

CRäKN enables you to take all your files with you wherever you go on your smart phone. Need to look up a past customer you can do it from any where.

Watch this video. Then call 844-382-7256.  NO CASE FEES for the duration of the current emergency.

Click on the logo below to go to the CRäKN site directly.