Tag: funeral high performing staff

5 Ways To Breathe Life Into Your Business

Written by Alan Creedy on June 18, 2018. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, The Video Blog, Video, Video Gallery. 2 Comments on 5 Ways To Breathe Life Into Your Business

This week I was privileged to be interviewed by Sebastian Thalhammer of Austria. You may or may not have heard of Sebastian but he is a pretty interesting media guru who somehow decided I had something to say. So, Here is my “15 minutes of fame.”

Actually, it’s 45 minutes but it does have some interesting insights on how to compete more effectively and some resources you can access to help you do it.

Get yourself a cup of coffee…or a beer, relax and learn something.

Here is what I would do:

This interview may inspire some dialogue in your business. If I were you I would schedule a staff meeting, bring in some popcorn, cast the video onto one of your monitors (I know you have them). After you finish it these questions might spark a positive dialogue:

What were Alan and Sebastian saying about the market that we are seeing?
How could we respond or assimilate to realize a competitive advantage?
What could we do that might make an impact today?
What should we be planning for today that will make a difference by next year?
Who will do it?

Conventional Incentives Don’t Work As Well As They Used To

Written by Alan Creedy on December 28, 2016. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 4 Comments on Conventional Incentives Don’t Work As Well As They Used To

The conventional incentive rewards the individual…usually with something monetary. Like so many things, incentives have evolved and become more complicated than a simple financial incentive.

Not everyone is money motivated. A personal example: As long as I am earning what I need, money is not a motivator for me. I am, instead, motivated by discovery and results. I am energized when I am able to find better ways to achieve better results. When the results happen I want to do it again. Nothing else works for me. Some people say I am motivated by helping people. I am always pleased when I can do that but improvement in their lives is my measuring stick. I want to be the catalyst that helps them “ratchet up”

Millenials have been under scrutiny regarding what might possibly motivate them. It turns out it is simpler but counterintuitive. Their motivation comes from alignment with their values and their values are heavily invested in the social side of life.

This Harvard Business Review post speaks to the transformation of incentive from individual to team. It makes sense to me.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE HARVARD ARTICLE

Are You Really A Team…Or Just A Workgroup

Written by Alan Creedy on June 23, 2014. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Leadership. 4 Comments on Are You Really A Team…Or Just A Workgroup

Most people speak of those they work with as a team. But, in my experience, people rarely understand what a team really is.

In funeral service what typically represents a team is really a group of people who are very nice but work towards their own ends independently. If the firm has clear standards and systems then things tend to work smoothly. If not, then hidden beneath the surface is a collection of resentments, hurts and misunderstandings that simply fester. This is called “Artificial Harmony.”

Artificial Harmony is evident in most of the firms I have worked with over my career. In fact, the louder the claims of “we’re like family” and “we function as a team” the more confident I become that I will find that Artificial Harmony is really what is going on.

In reality most business teams, whether in funeral service or some other career area, are really work groups. Few function as true teams. Study after study reveals that true team work environments are more productive, create higher customer satisfaction and generate greater profits.

The difference between a team and a workgroup is simple. A golf team is a workgroup. A group of individuals working independently whose scores are toted up to determine where they stand. The metaphor for a team is a basketball team. Each member is INTERDEPENDENT on the others. No single person can win games as effectively or consistently. It’s not about whether or not they like each other (although I am sure many of them do). It is about a shared vision of reality, common goals and leveraging each others strengths and (most of all) have trust and confidence in your teammates.

Members of teams hold each other accountable to the team for their performance. It does no good to “bear” the underperformance of another with a smile because you “hate confrontation.” To do so means the team loses. No, instead, true team members recognize their responsibility to carry their respective weight and fulfill their responsibility to the whole.

Years ago I saw a needlepoint in a client’s office. I went home and printed it on a regular size piece of paper, framed it and now it hangs on my wall:

“A man (or woman) can do anything in a business,

as long as the holy spirit is in control,

and no one cares who gets the credit”

FUNERAL SERVICE : YOUR FLY IS UNZIPPED

Written by Alan Creedy on August 5, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 7 Comments on FUNERAL SERVICE : YOUR FLY IS UNZIPPED

OR WHY FUNERAL DIRECTORS ARE NEUROTIC

A pastor friend once told me: “The test of love is whether or not you are willing to tell someone their fly is unzipped.”

Funeral service I love what you do and I love many of you. Your fly is unzipped.

My phone rings: “Al, this is Ron.”

Me: “hey Ron.” (That’s how we talk in the South)

Ron: “I just got home from trying to make my prearrangements at the funeral home and I am totally confused. Can you go back and help me? and by the way, I want you to do my eulogy.”

Me: “Well, gee, thanks Ron. I am honored. I’ll be glad to do it. Are you Ok?”

Ron: “I’m fine. I just need to get this done. As for the eulogy, you’re the only one who will tell my story the way I want it.”

This is a true story. Ron is one of my best friends. 7 years older, he is a graduate of West Point (class of ’65) and a nuclear engineer. He is retired from a prominent career in the nuclear power industry and is considered an international expert on quality control. In other words he is smart. I have known him for 28 years. He is a man on a clock. This story occurred when he had turned 65 and 65 was when you took care of your funeral arrangements. 45 was when you took care of your cemetery arrangements.

We arrive at the funeral home at our appointed time and are ushered into the arrangements office. A few moments later the funeral director enters. I know him. Approaching retirement he has had a long successful career, serves on a national committee and (I think) has served on the board of his state association. He is someone I both like and respect. We will call him John (not his real name).

John (setting down a legal pad and a folder): “Ok. What do you want?”

Ron and me (exchanging glances): “Well, what do you have?”

John: “It depends on what you want.”

We go back and forth like this for a few minutes and finally I take over. I am not a funeral director and I was careful not to break any laws but I know enough to lead a discussion. (Operative word: “lead”)

Me: “Ron, I know you have already bought your cemetery plots so I am assuming you plan on having something approximating a traditional funeral.”

Ron: “Of course.”

Me: “would you like a visitation the night before the funeral?”

Ron: “yes.”

Me: “john, would you write that down?”

Me: “Were you planning on a military style funeral”

Ron: “Of course. My roommate (a former chairman of the joint chiefs of staff), if he is still living, is going to do the flag presentation. It’s a West Point custom.”

Me: “Great, do you think you might like a bagpiper at the gravesite?”

Ron (surprised look on his face): “Can I have a bagpiper?”

Me: “John, can you arrange a bagpiper?”

John: “yes”

Me: “good, write that down too, John.”

I won’t go through the whole scene but that was the way the conversation went. We ended up with a funeral somewhere in the 5 figure range.

Let me repeat: I am not a funeral director! But I know when someone needs me to put my expert hat on.

At the time of this post I am 63. This happened 4 or 5 years ago. I have now assisted 3 other friends with their prearrangements and two with at need arrangements. All but one with different funeral directors. People I know and respect. All with 30 to 40 years experience. Exactly the same experience each time.

I don’t know about you but I am alarmed!

For the 33 years of my career in funeral service I have assumed that once you had around 5 year’s experience you were pretty much on top of your game. These experiences caused me great concern. So, I began experimenting and it went like this:

I would be at an industry gathering either speaking or facilitating and I would create an opportunity to ask:

“let me ask you. You graduate from mortuary school, you go to work. Maybe you are a first generation funeral director or you go into the family firm. It doesn’t matter. You start out working visitations, assisting with body prep, doing removals, embalming, mowing the lawn. You’ve been there a number of months and one day the funeral home gets really busy and without warning someone hands you a file, says: ‘The Smith Family is coming in at 2:00 to make arrangements. Good luck.’

and there you are…on your own. Is that what happens?”

The responses, dear readers, shocked me and I hope they will you as well:

“Exactly. But they didn’t say good luck. They said: “Don’t Screw it up.”

“Yup. That’s how it is. But they didn’t say good luck. They said: “Don’t worry. It’s only a cremation.”

“Yeah, and it was a saturday and the family name was Jaworksi” (this was 40 years later)

“So, let me get this straight.” I query further. “You’ve been doing this 25, 30, 40 years and you have never been trained on how to make arrangements.”

“nope.”

“Have you ever observed someone else making arrangements?” “nope.”

“Has anyone else ever observed you and offered suggestions.” “nope.”

OMG!!!! Holy Cow!!!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE

After doing this for several months with different groups ranging in size from 9 to over 50 all the inconsistencies:

The unwillingness to defend ourselves, the capitulation to cremation, the preoccupation with prominence over significance fell into place. I had, for years, been confused by these things. Now I understood.

We won’t defend ourselves.

We won’t address and adapt to change.

We won’t do anything that even hints of upsetting the customer even when we know what they are doing will hurt them in the long term.

We are frustrated. Maybe even despairing.

We feel trapped.

We are relentlessly being marginalized by the public.

Our businesses…our livelihoods are in jeopardy.

BECAUSE

We have no way of knowing what we are doing is right. We are making it up as we go along hoping it will turn out alright. We judge our effectiveness and accomplishments solely by the reaction of others. If they like us, life is good. If they don’t, life is very, very bad.

We think it’s just us. Surely other funeral directors know what they are doing. So we say:

“If I rigidly follow the rules, meekly acquiesce to every request, sacrifice my family over-serving my customer, throw in a free video tribute maybe no one will find out that I don’t know what I am doing.”

This revelation creates in me simultaneous despair and wild optimism.

If this is the root and core of our low self-image and unwillingness to stand up for what we believe the consequences of doing nothing are plain for all to see.

At the same time, “We Can Fix This.”

The only question that remains is: “Will we?”

Let me say this: “I believe this is a noble profession. I can quantify my belief and I can stand for it publicly without reservation. As a profession it is eminently defendable. Yes, I fully understand that not everyone in it is noble. But ask yourself:

How noble would I be, could I be, if every day I had no way of really knowing if I were doing it right?.”

In my mind, (and I concede it may only be in my mind ;)) this travesty is a potential lynchpin for turning this industry (sorry, you can’t call untrained people who aren’t able to stand for what they believe professionals) to turn itself around.

I use strong language here deliberately to startle you and maybe to make you say “No More”. In your hearts you are great people. You serve a noble profession but your self doubt is a significant stumbling block.

Now you know you are not the only one. In fact, you are in the majority. Now you can see the king has no clothes. What are you going to do about it?

You may want to read more about my beliefs here.

On Motivation – Money Is Not The Answer

Written by Alan Creedy on July 15, 2013. Posted in Video Gallery, Leadership, The Creedy Commentary, The Video Blog, Video. 1 Comment on On Motivation – Money Is Not The Answer

Did you know that money is not a motivator. It is only a hygiene factor. Paying too little creates dissatisfaction…paying fairly only takes away the bone of contention…paying too much does not create enthusiasm and can often lead to dissatisfaction.

So what really motivates people. It’s simpler than you think and if you are as introspective as I can be at times you will realize you already know it. The trick is to get over your personal trash and execute what, strangely, seems counterintuitive but is really not.

I try to keep the amount of time you need to commit to my posts limited but this 20 minute video is too good to exclude Dan Ariely shares how to really motivate and demotivate people.

Take Aways:

Ignoring contributions is the same as shredding people’s work in their faces
Meaning is more important than efficiency
When people have to make an effort (work harder) at something they actually love their work more

So, go get a cup of coffee, sit back and learn something valuable enough to spend 20 minutes.

Managers Vs. Leaders: Which Are You?

Written by Alan Creedy on January 24, 2011. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 2 Comments on Managers Vs. Leaders: Which Are You?

As a student of leadership and as a “Benchmark” Assessor for the Center for Creative Leadership, I am well aware of the impact poor leadership has on results. The problem, in my mind, is the historical emphasis on styles more appropriate to factory settings than businesses that actually interface with the public.

The difference between a manager and a leader is significant and that point is often missed. Both are responsible for accomplishing goals but one has a greater responsibility of setting goals than the other. Both are responsible for optimizing performance but one is focused almost entirely on the day to day while the other must balance the day to day with the bigger picture of how to prepare for the future.

The dysfunctionality of the manufacturing style of managing has been widely known for at least two decades. It gets work done but does not optimize performance. As Drucker says so eloquently: It creates “job impoverishment, not job enrichment”. Building a team of high performers is quickly becoming one of the Critical Keys to Success for all businesses but even more so for DeathCare.

I am a “semi fan” of Seth Godin’s. As a rule ranters make me uncomfortable. But I subscribe to his blog because every six weeks or so he coughs up a gem and this link is one. It will take you two minutes so Click here to read it for yourself.

The Emperor Has No Clothes

Written by Alan Creedy on January 11, 2011. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 5 Comments on The Emperor Has No Clothes

What employee turnover reveals about your leadership.

Employee turnover can reveal a lot of things. Surely turnover is normal but both too much and too little are signs of serious management issues. The pressures of the last ten years have led many in DeathCare to be frustrated with their employees. An attitude has sprung up that suggests a feeling like: “If somehow I could just fix my employees everything would be alright.”

High turnover rates and no turnover rates are actually two sides of the same coin. Both indicate an unwillingness to develop people and poor to nonexistent communication skills. It is the leader’s role to communicate what is expected of people, to follow through and to teach and to develop. High turnover indicates they have put too much pressure on people to meet expectations without giving them the tools and resources to do the job. Tools and resources include emotional support and guidance. Having no turnover is just as bad. If you are a firm of any size it is impossible that you haven’t got at least one person who doesn’t belong. Even Jesus made a bad hire although He did it on purpose to fulfill prophesy. Most often, when someone tells me (usually with some pride) that no one ever leaves I am willing to take a bet that they have several aimless people who couldn’t find work elsewhere who are just showing up for a paycheck.

Drucker’s Orchestra metaphor is the best illustration:

When a new orchestra leader takes over a poorly performing orchestra he does not have the luxury of letting everyone go and replacing them with top performers. Instead, he must ferret out the worst and work with the remaining average players to help them want to work at peak levels

Great leaders do 4 things extremely well:

Select the right people
Set clear expectations
Motivate people to do their best
Develop people

Interestingly, there are 8 things employees really want from leaders:

Tell me my role, what to do, and give me the rules
1. Clear direction
2. Parameters so they can work within broad outlines.
Discipline my coworker who is out of line
1. Hold people accountable-be fair but hold fast to what is and is not acceptable
Get me excited
1. About the company
2. About what we do
3. About where I fit
Don’t forget to praise me
Don’t scare me
1. They don’t really need to know about everything you worry about
2. Don’t lose your temper
3. Be fair and consistent
Impress me
1. be bold
2. or be creative
3. or be smart
Give me some autonomy
1. Give me a special project
2. Trust me with an opportunity
Set me up to win
1. Indecisive leaders frustrate everyone and make them feel defeated

Do you find it interesting that financial incentives aren’t on this list? Turns out that money is only a demotivator. If you aren’t paid fairly it will demotivate you. Overpaying you will not motivate you or make you more loyal.

Are You Too Proud to Succeed?

Written by Alan Creedy on December 7, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Money: Getting it and Keeping it. No Comments on Are You Too Proud to Succeed?

A problem, certainly not unique to DeathCare but just as certainly profoundly prevalent, is an artificial sense of professionalism. Born out of defining success by what people might think of us, it blocks our ability to succeed by making us unwilling to “Stoop To Greatness”.

I just received this two page post from Patrick Lencioni’s blog: “Point of View”. You can subscribe by clicking here. Lencioni is one of the foremost authors of management books in the U.S. You will recognize “Death By Meeting”; “Silos, Politics and Turf Wars” and, my favorite, “The Five Dysfunctions of A Team.” Virtually all his writing deals with human relations and how to help people be more effective.

His comments should give us all pause to reflect:

Stooping to Greatness

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to spend time with the CEO of one of America’s most successful companies, a legendary organization known for its employee and customer satisfaction, as well as its financial performance. I attended their company’s management conference, listened to various presentations about their culture, and the extraordinary, homey and sometimes slightly wacky practices that distinguish them from their competitors.

Overwhelmed by the organization’s simple and powerful behavioral philosophy, I asked the CEO a semi-rhetorical question. “Why in the world don’t your competitors do any of this?” The CEO thought about it for a moment and said, “You know, I honestly believe they think it’s beneath them.”

And right away, I knew he was right.

After all, every one of those competitors, the vast majority of whom are struggling, knows exactly what this company does, how it works, and how much it has driven its financial success. The company’s cultural approach has been chronicled in more than a few books. And yet, none of them tries to emulate it. In fact, based on numerous interactions I’ve had with employees who work for those competitors, I’d have to say that their attitude is often dismissive, even derisive, toward this company and its enthusiastic employees.

And this dynamic exists in other industries, too. A fast-food company I know has remarkable customer loyalty, as well as unbelievable employee satisfaction and retention, especially compared to the majority of their competitors. The leaders and employees of the company attribute most of their success to the behavioral philosophy and attitude that they’ve cultivated within the organization, and the unconventional yet effective activities that result.

One example of that philosophy is the action of the CEO, who shows up at grand openings of new franchises where he stays up all night with employees, playing instruments and handing out food to excited customers. Few CEOs would be happy, or even willing, to do things like this, but this executive relishes the opportunity. These, and other activities that most MBAs would call corny, are precisely what makes that company unique.

This happens in the world of sports, as well. There is a well-known high school football team where I live that is ranked near the top of national polls every year. They play the best teams in the country, teams with bigger and more highly touted players, and beat them regularly. The secret to their success, more than any game strategy or weight-lifting regimen, comes down to the coach’s philosophy about commitment and teamwork and the buy-in he gets from his players. That philosophy manifests itself in a variety of simple actions which speak to how the players treat one another on and off the field. For example, players pair up every week and exchange 3×5 cards with hand-written commitments around training and personal improvement, and then take responsibility for disciplining one another when those commitments aren’t met.

And yet, whenever I explain this and similar practices of the team to other coaches who are curious about their success, I encounter that same sense of dismissiveness. They get a look on their face that seems to say, “listen, I’m not going to do that. It’s silly. Just tell me something technical that I can use.” As a result, few teams actually try to copy them.

Some skeptics might say, “come on, those companies/teams are successful because they’re good at what they do.” And they’d be right. Those organizations are undoubtedly and extremely competent in their given fields, and they have to be in order to succeed. But plenty of other organizations are just as competent and don’t achieve great levels of success, and I honestly believe it’s because they’re unwilling to stoop down and do the simple, emotional, home-spun things that all human beings — employees, customers, players — really crave.

What’s at the heart of this unwillingness? I think it’s pride. Though plenty of people in the world say they want to be successful, not that many are willing to humble themselves and do the simple things that might seem unsophisticated. Essentially, they come to define success by what people think of them, rather than by what they accomplish, which is ironic because they often end up losing the admiration of their employees and customers/fans.

The good news in all of this is that for those organizations that want to succeed more than they want to maintain some artificial sense of professionalism (whatever that means), there is great opportunity for competitive advantage and success. They can create a culture of performance and service and employee engagement, the kind that ensures long term success like no strategy ever could. But only if they’re willing to stoop down and be human, to treat their customers and one another in ways that others might find corny.

Best,

Patrick Lencioni

Is Your Company Coherent?

Written by Alan Creedy on November 30, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 2 Comments on Is Your Company Coherent?

Booz & Company, one of the foremost consulting leaders in innovation, has discovered a link between performance and strategy called “Coherence.” For a company to be described as coherent, it must be resolutely focused on the interrelationship among three critical elements: its market position (its chosen “way to play” against competitors); its most distinctive capabilities, which work together as a system; and its product and service portfolio.

They have devised a Coherence Profiler which should be of use to all Deathcare Practitioners. This 5 minute survey provides a “real-time” diagnostic for the coherence in any company. Coherence delivers a premium to companies by increasing effectiveness, efficiency, use of critical resources and overall alignment.

I recommend taking the profile by clicking on the highlighted link above. You can also read the full article by going to the Strategy + Business website directly (click here)

The Tyranny of the Ten Call Man

Written by Alan Creedy on August 10, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 4 Comments on The Tyranny of the Ten Call Man

A Management lesson from the bible

One of the most common and pervasive staffing problems in funeral service is the man or woman who undermines almost every current and future issue management tries to address. They are the “Mayor of the Prep Room”. No matter what initiative you attempt, they quietly work behind the scenes to undo it. Sometimes they employ a subtle mechanism I call being “cooperatively uncooperative”. This means giving the appearance of being on board but quietly “forgetting” to do what they have promised. Worse they are absolute geniuses in providing what seem reasonable excuses why exceptions must be made. As “Mayor of the Prep Room” every attempt to communicate to staff is answered by a meeting after the meeting where they hold forth on “what we are really going to do.” The worst of them are blatant about simply ignoring expectations and just doing things the way they want rather than the way the are asked to do them. Effectively daring management to “Make Me.”

An example is worthwhile. Recently the more progressive funeral homes have implemented monthly, weekly and even daily staff meetings. Attendance is mandatory. Yet every owner that has been successful in establishing regular meetings has shared with me that it meant they had to chase down and face down at least one staff member repeatedly to make them attend. Many owners and managers simply gave up trying and either exempted them or stopped having meetings. This obviously caused other employees to lose heart and wonder (sometimes openly) who was really running the business. Formal power said the owner –but informal power didn’t agree.

Why do owners and managers allow this behavior? They say that it’s because they believe the person is too valuable to lose. They have convinced themselves that they would lose 10, 20 or 30 calls. And maybe they would. But over time the lack of progress in responding to the many challenges we face and the loss of employee morale (not to mention the loss of owner morale) cost much much more than the loss of those calls. I call these trouble makers “ten call men” because the owners live in daily fear they control that many calls.

I don’t like “ten call men” because they arrogantly wield informal power and prevent opportunity without assuming any risk. They play owners and managers like puppets.

Jim Collins, in his “must-read” book, “Good To Great” makes this observation about them:

“We have a wrong person on the bus and we know it. Yet we wait, we delay, we try alternatives, we give a third and fourth chance…we build little systems to compensate for shortcomings…We find our energy diverted…that one person siphons energy away from developing and working with the right people.

Letting the wrong people hang around is unfair to the right people…

The reason we wait too long often has less to do with concern for that person than our own convenience…Meanwhile all the other people are still wondering: ‘when are you going to do something about this?'”

It is not unusual in my consulting practice to find inspiration in The Bible. On more than one occasion a verse from Proverbs has enabled clients to take long delayed but desperately needed action:

“Cast out the scorner and contention will go out; yea strife and reproach shall cease” Proverbs 22:10

How I Learned To Stop Pushing Strings Uphill

Written by Alan Creedy on June 1, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Leadership. 8 Comments on How I Learned To Stop Pushing Strings Uphill

Breaking The Cycle

DeathCare is in its 13th year of declining profitability. Last year is reported as our worst year ever and it’s beginning to tell. Answer these questions:

___Do you sometimes feel trapped?

___Do you sometimes dread going to work?

___Is it easier to do it yourself than tell someone how to do it?

___Do you resent the pressure you feel?

___Do you resent others in your life?

___Do you find yourself whining?

___Do you wonder if you will ever be able to get out?

___Do you wonder if there is any point in all your efforts?

Most of us feel these things occasionally but if it has become a large part of your emotional life there are two things you need to keep in mind: 1) You are far from alone; and 2) You may be contributing to your own problems. This article gives you some direction in breaking the cycle. But first a couple of stories that will help you better understand what I am going to share with you.

Sisyphus was a legendary Greek king who angered the gods and, as punishment, was condemned to push a large boulder up hill for eternity. As soon as he got to the top of the hill the boulder would roll down the other side and he would have to push it up again. Eternity is a long time.

There are days we all feel like Sysiphus… trapped in a never ending cycle without meaningful results. All alone we try to plot our course, take the risks and try with all our might to motivate staff, gain market share, improve profitability and, most important, improve customer satisfaction. But, more often than not we seem to always find ourselves back where we started. Worse yet, if we are honest, we are often behind where we started.

Years ago an individual was brave enough to say something to me that broke this cycle, although, at the time, it made me very angry. He did it intentionally, knowing it would have that result. Once I calmed down, the truth of what he said motivated me beyond anything else he could have done. I made a plaque out of it and it stands on my desk to this day:

“We Are Where We Are…Because That Is Where We Want To Be.”

A biblical story provides an excellent frame of reference: We all know (or should know) the story of Jesus healing the blind man and how, once healed, he jumped and cavorted around the temple in his excitement at being able to see. There are many, many lessons in this tale but for me the most profound one is rarely explored.

To see ourselves in this story we must look beyond the miracle of his healing. His obsession had been: “If only I could see.” He didn’t realize that his healing would create an entirely new problem. Think about what it would have been like for the blind man the next day, after the excitement and public attention had died down and he was left to himself. He had a whole new reality to come to terms with. He knew how to be blind. Now he had to learn to function with sight. Remember all his relationships were based on being blind. His livelihood was dependent on being blind…he knew how to function in a blind world. In many ways it must have been frightening. Everything that was familiar to him had changed dramatically. Suddenly, he was forced into a new reality and, for him, there was no turning back.

The point is: some of us have learned how to be Sisyphus. In fact, we have come to like it. We know how to function in our dysfunction. Like the blind man, it has come to define us. Our friends are others who feel trapped just like us. Our collective whining is a form of release that shields us from facing the fact that we are where we are…because that is where we want to be. It enables us to create excuses by blaming others. Being Sisyphus is part of our comfort zone and as appealing as ending the meaningless cycle may be, our behavior tells us we really don’t want a new reality to cope with. By accepting responsibility for our circumstances we take a giant step towards a new and better reality. By accepting responsibility we begin to see that we have many more options than we thought. Our epiphany is that it doesn’t have to be like this. But there is a catch, it means that the key is no longer that others change their behavior but that we change ours.

One of the most rewarding times of my business coaching practice is when I help someone reach the point where they realize they have many more options than they thought they had. This is often a true “Ah Ha!” experience and is always accompanied by renewed energy and enthusiasm. My part is simply helping them stand back from the trees just enought to see the forest.

Personally, when I decided that I didn’t want to be my own victim any longer, I found ways to break the cycle. For me, one of the most important of these was realizing that there are no perfect people. Everyone has their own dysfunction. Some hide it better than others. Many dysfunctions are socially acceptable anyway. (Think whining at DeathCare conventions) Still everyone, in one way or another, is limited by their own self perception.

But the first step…and the most important step…is to choose to take personal responsibility for oneself and stop seeing yourself as a victim. It is absolutely awesome what you can do when you make that choice…or should I say commitment.

Among the more powerful benefits is: You start spending more time with people who would rather happen to life than have life happen to them. This will increase your own optimism and energy. One of the things I am sure our blind man found himself doing was hanging out with a different crowd: metaphorically “People with vision”

So, here is an action item: Find people who don’t whine. Deliberately step away from negative conversations and avoid people who dwell on negative things. To change your situation the best place to start is to change your environment. Maybe you can’t take a month off. But you can sure choose the people you interact with. Find a mentor who can hold you accountable. Attitude is often 90% of the solution.

The best way to change is not because you have to or even because you want to…but because you have found a better way.

Where are you? Is that really where you want to be?

How “Best Purpose” Trumps “Best Practice”

Written by Alan Creedy on May 24, 2010. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 2 Comments on How “Best Purpose” Trumps “Best Practice”

How a part time hostess taught me the most valuable lesson.

It was late 1989. Rachel was then in her mid 70’s. A retired school teacher, she had worked for us for about 6 or 7 years. She was a quiet, unassuming and gracious woman who had that gift of always making you feel welcome. As a part time hostess she was stationed by the front door of our main facility during public hours…often during visitations. I was President of the nation’s oldest and among its most prestigious independently owned funeral homes. We served 850 families and operated two cemeteries and a crematory. Rachel always received more positive comments on our Family Surveys than any other employee full or part time.

The funeral home was widely respected and even admired by both the public we served and professional colleagues for its high standards of service. We believed our 70% + market share was a direct result of those high standards. Certainly, they were a large part of our success.

But Rachel taught me an important lesson about an even more powerful market driver: Best Purpose.

Part of the reason that company was so admired for its high standard of service was a very rigid and unyielding set of employee expectations. We all had a clear understanding of the “musts” and “must-nots” of our daily behavior and routine. Mistakes were typically only made once, if they were made at all. But lest you think this was some closely watched and supervised culture, I should be clear. The resulting quality and superior performance created a level of “Esprit De Corps” that made the behaviors more or less “self sustaining.” The problem was not in the performance but in the unrecognized limitation on “above and beyond” initiative that it unconsciously imposed.

Rachel, independently and without permission, deviated from one of our “cast-in-stone” rules and I was delegated to tell her not to do it again.

Raleigh, NC, where I live, continues to this day to prefer receiving lines over mingling. We discovered that about half way through visitations Rachel was taking the initiative to bring a glass of water to the widow or widower. Food and beverage of any kind was strictly forbidden in any of the public areas of our buildings. It was this act of kindness that I was told to stop. Now, lest you be too harsh, this was the 1980’s and this type of courtesy was not so obvious back then. And besides, this story is not about rules (good or bad) it is about purpose which we had but did not emphasize.

I began my conversation reminding Rachel of the rules and asking her why she was doing it. She responding so graciously that I still remember it. She said, “Mr. Creedy, I understand the rule. But when you buried my husband I remember standing in that same line and thinking I would kill for a glass of water. So, I try to make their life a little easier by bringing it to them.” I remember answering: “Rachel, you just forget that we had this conversation and continue what you are doing.” I went back to the owner and told him that Rachel was doing the right thing and we all needed to be thinking like Rachel.

The lesson is this: Maybe the company was successful because of its high standards but Rachel was more successful because she had a higher purpose.

What is your purpose? If I asked you without warning, could you tell me in less than 60 seconds without thinking? Could your staff?

Simon Cooper, President and COO of Ritz Carlton Hotels, strives for “Scriptless Service.” This means that employees must be able to think, anticipate and act without being told. They must have the ability and latitude to take initiative when they see an opportunity to help a guest.

Rachel taught me that the highest of standards and expectations without clarity of purpose can cause us to miss the most important things.

How people behave is what they believe. Does the behavior of your staff indicate they have high standards and high purpose? Does your behavior?

You may reprint this article by including the following on your publication: