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How To Know When You are Ready To Exit Your Business

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Money: Getting it and Keeping it. 1 Comment on How To Know When You are Ready To Exit Your Business

How To Know When You are Ready To Exit Your Business

The answer to this challenge is both situational and personal.

Whether you plan on leaving the business altogether or you want to work as long as you are able, most people agree that achieving financial independence should be a primary goal. You may want to work until your 80 but you shouldn’t HAVE to work if you don’t want to or can’t.

I have created this matrix for my clients to be able to know where they stand.

Not able, Not Ready

Your business cannot be sold for full value and you are dependent on the value of the business to give you financial independence. If you have it, you need more time.

You need a plan to increase cash flow, create wealth independent of the business and create value for a potential buyer.  

Ready, Not Able

The sale of your business will not result in financial independence. You are ready and the business is ready but you need time to develop alternative cash flows. 

Able, Not Ready

The net proceeds of a sale combined with personal investments will enable you to be financially independent.  However, you and/or the business are not ready to exit. If the business is not ready to optimize value then you need a plan that will get you there.

Ready and Able

Congratulations! This is the best of all possible worlds. You can choose your timing and know that you will be able to accomplish what you want. You need a plan to mitigate the risks of continued ownership.

 

Managing An Underperforming Family Member

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary, General Topics. 1 Comment on Managing An Underperforming Family Member

Managing An Underperforming Family Member

WOW! What a topic!

If you have ever attended a county fair, you may have witnessed a Mule Pull. This is a contest of mule teams pulling a weighted sled. Sometimes you will see an interesting and metaphorical phenomenon: A team of two mules will be pulling the sled. One mule is pulling with all its heart but the other may give an occasional tug but is really not contributing to the effort. If allowed to go on, the mule pulling with all its heart will be driven to its knees. To me, this has become the symbolic visual of families with an underperforming family member on the team. Eventually, those who are truly committed will be driven to their metaphorical knees.

When a family member underperforms on the job it has significant ripple effects for the business. At a minimum, it creates:

  • Frustration among other family members
  • Lowers morale among employees
  • Reduces respect for the company
  • Underserves customers
  • Increases cost by requiring “work – arounds” like additional staff and outsourced labor

But it isn’t an easy problem. In my experience, underperformance is often tolerated by the family because:

  • Everyone knows they couldn’t make it elsewhere
  • After all it’s your son, daughter, brother, sister, cousin
  • Funeral homes are notoriously passive-aggressive. Since they don’t think they can/should fire them they ignore the issue.

Underperformance in a family member is further complicated by the internal dynamics of the family. Frequently, there is an “Alpha” sibling/cousin who tends to dominate. Just as frequently, they have expectations of themselves they believe should be shared by all. As you might expect, it is often they who are defining underperformance? I have to say that in the majority of cases they have enough perspective to be right…just not as right as they think they are.

Personally, I am wired to be a workaholic. I actually like working hard, solving complex puzzles, stress. I need to feel I am making a substantive contribution. I have reached peace of sorts with my idiosyncrasy.

But what if my brother is not as driven as I am? Maybe he is willing to work hard; but, not AS hard. Maybe he contributes in different ways than I do. Or he has different priorities. Is it right for me to impose my work neurosis on him? Equally important, is it right for him to resent my driven behavior which may, in fact, be enabling the company to thrive?

So, the first question we have to ask is:

What constitutes underperformance?

Simply stated: “If you are paid a full wage, you should be expected to carry a full load. If you are in a management position in a small business, you also must accept the responsibilities that correspond to your level of leadership.”  The latter implies you must do more than show up and accept orders…you must also think and anticipate.” In other words, you must contribute in some way proportionate to your income.

Hopefully, whoever is concerned about underperformance has thought through the level of expectation at which the underperformance would, at least, become performance. So, what do you do? At a minimum, Mr./Ms. Alpha leader, YOU should:

  1. Create a safe place where you can all explore the issues
  2. If one of you doesn’t want to or can’t assume management responsibilities, then adjust and find meaningful ways they can contribute
    1. Do not lower expectations below those of other employees
  3. Communicate clear expectations relative to job performance. For instance:
    1. Be on time for work
    2. When the company is busy, be ready to pitch in to help others
    3. Act with respect towards all associates and customers
    4. Take personal responsibility
    5. Be willing to be held accountable
  4. Be willing to provide regular feedback
  5. If necessary, get counseling or mentoring for YOU and the underperformer
  6. Be Humble
  7. Think about getting a professional coach

What to do when they won’t step up to the plate:

  • When a family member will not step up to the plate it is time to answer these questions:
    • If this person were not a family member what would you do?
    • Are there some alternatives to being involved in the company that make sense?

Not long ago I was working with a firm struggling with this issue. One of 4 family members was simply not carrying their weight.  In conversation, the others shared with me that he really didn’t want to be in the funeral business but couldn’t earn as much where his passion was. I observed that it seemed to me that his passion was High School Coaching. They were surprised at my insight and affirmed the observation. I shared with them that, as family members, they should have similar expectations relative to the contribution they make tothe family firm and that maybe they should consider encouraging him to pursue his passion and then subsidizing the difference in compensation. In this case, that made sense and the problem was solved. Family harmony was preserved.

ONE MORE THING:

Family drama always carries into the workplace.   It is not uncommon that the underperformance issue is more a result of siblings not getting along or being frustrated with each other.  Again, funeral homes are notoriously passive-aggressive. This is also a common trait of families where family harmony is important. I have experienced situations where family members are each fully capable, but simply shouldn’t be working together. There are several options I recommend they explore. These include:

  • Acquiring different locations and letting each person manage specific locations so they can stay apart
  • Sell the firm and let the parties get a fresh start without each other.
  • If they have multiple locations, divide the assets and go separate ways.
  • Retaining a professional coach that would help them mediate their issues.

Is there any hope?

Yes there is!

But, there is one universal, non-negotiable requirement:

ALL parties (mom, dad, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, cousins) must be EQUALLY committed to a solution. No EXCEPTIONS!

Online Funeral Arranging: What I think and a Harvard Study that Supports It.

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 6 Comments on Online Funeral Arranging: What I think and a Harvard Study that Supports It.

While I was involved in preneed marketing I observed an odd and, yet, consistent human behavior.

Research suggests that many people would prefer to plan their funeral with someone other than a funeral director. YET, when a death occurred they don’t want to talk with anyone BUT a funeral director.

So as the internet has taken hold and predictions of capturing large blocks of business by using it to help people avoid interacting with a human being proliferate, I was and am skeptical. Yes, I am certain a block of people will be attracted to the “convenience.” unfortunately, if online arrangements become the norm, we will end up underserving the public. As a result, we will drive even more away from what we do with the eventual consequence of unresolved grief.

Today, I read an article in the Harvard Business Review and, while it is mostly about the financial services industry, it has application to the belief that we should go electronic.

It seems that when a transaction is anxiety-producing (and I believe funeral arrangements are often anxiety-producing) working with a human reduces anxiety.

Read the full article here:

Why Anxious Customers Prefer Human Customer Service

What would I do?

I think I would target some of my marketing to stress the importance of interacting with real people in an already anxiety-producing situation. I am sure some advertising genius can come up with something that compares making funeral arrangements with Alexa and a real person.

Collaborative Healing: Our Real Purpose

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 3 Comments on Collaborative Healing: Our Real Purpose

Sometimes people ask WHY we have funerals. Good Question. Unfortunately, many of our colleagues aren’t quite sure themselves so they stumble.

With almost 40 years under my belt (and you thought I was overweight?) I have come to a conclusion and have coined a phrase I welcome my readers to adopt:

Collaborative Healing

My friend Karl Jennings of the Acute Loss Center observed a frequent and common behavior in major catastrophes and celebrity deaths. In these events, humans display a visceral need to participate in mutual and common behaviors. The strongest of these is the need to gather, honor and interact physically with others. What made this observation so vivid for Karl, and anyone who understands his theory, is that the need is no less strong in those who don’t even know the affected parties.

I have come to believe that human psyche is wired to respond to human suffering in a certain way and that way involves collaborative healing. Funerals, ceremonies, ritual, parties…whatever you want to call it…function for that purpose. In our far-flung, post-industrial world funeral homes function to organize, orchestrate and focus this need.

Those who doubt the value of what you do are simply ignoring an observable and verifiable human need. I will leave the rest of this conversation to Karl. He gets it better than anyone.

Funeral Service: It’s All In the Attitude

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 4 Comments on Funeral Service: It’s All In the Attitude

It has been almost two decades since the new millennium began. Much has changed.

20 years ago, copper caskets were still being sold…today, we feel lucky when we sell a casket at all.

20 years ago, only 1 out of 3 or, even, 4 chose cremation…today, it is more than 1 out of 2.

20 years ago, funeral homes were selling at 8 times EBITDA or more…today, it is 5.5.

STOP!  Isn’t this typical?! Too many of us tend to think negatively.

20 years ago, we were heading into a 15-year decline in available calls. Today, we are looking at a year over year increase for the next 50 years.

20 years ago, the overwhelming preference in cremation was direct. Today, that trend is shifting as funeral directors assume more assertive roles and increase the average sale while creating more satisfied families.

20 years ago, most funeral directors operated out of their “hip pocket”. Many still do. Today, a growing number of intentional practitioners are finding they can be as profitable or more so by managing for results.

I generally find two types of funeral directors:

  • Those who passively let life happen to them…victims!
  • Those who actively impact the life they are living…Intentionals!

The former tend to think negatively and assume a victim mentality.  I find that “victim – thinkers” typically have made peace with their circumstances. They have learned to live in their world. Hope is not part of their perspective.  As such, they have become comfortable with the status quo. Not only do they not believe things could go better they will actively work against efforts to prove them wrong. They will associate with people who think like them. And if I spend too much time with them, I begin to think like them. It’s contagious.

Intentional people, however, aren’t always the most creative or the most aggressive. They are simply people who look for the best and don’t make the assumption that all change is bad.

When I was preparing to take the CPA exam my instructors hammered into me a simple principle: “The answer is always in the question.” In a general sense, I find this to be true in life.

How would your perspective change if you focused on finding the answer in the question? What might you find?  How might it help?

This leads me to a corollary observation: “If you want to change your circumstances you have to look beyond your circumstances.”

When you study a problem looking for answers (or at least hypotheses) they tend to appear. As you work toward some of those answers, they begin to bear fruit. As they bear fruit more answers appear and, after a while, you reach a new level of understanding and achievement. A more fruitful and rewarding level.

For example:  A large part, perhaps even a majority, of practitioners equate cremation with direct cremation. Yet a small number of practitioners are more than proving them wrong. All these contrarians have two things in common which suggest a way out of our “stinking thinking.”

By taking a more assertive role in the arrangements conference and abandoning the “order-taker” persona, they become teachers and guides. As a result, they are finding that people actually want more service and are willing to pay for it.  More important, they are experiencing increased volume which they credit to the positive experience their families have when they choose to actually honor their loved one.

So, while many in funeral service believe our best days are behind us, I stand with those who believe our best days are ahead. I call them Intentional Funeral Directors.

Besides, I don’t see any constructive purpose in hopelessness and blaming others.

Recruiting At Zaxby’s

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in General Topics, The Creedy Commentary. 5 Comments on Recruiting At Zaxby’s

Recruiting at Zaxby’s

The single greatest challenge facing funeral service is not cremation.  It is our inability to find and recruit and retain good quality funeral directors. Fully 2/3 of the current licensee labor pool is over 55. Our inability to replace this work force has very nasty consequences.  Not only will families be underserved but the pressure on the remaining workers will ultimately exceed the capacity.

What Should we do?

When faced with a dilemma no one is working on it is best to take matters into your own hands. I believe the answer is in our past.

If you know a first – generation funeral director who is in his or her 70’s, chances are they entered the profession through the ambulance service. Younger than that, many of them were engaged in their late teens to do mundane work around the funeral home like mowing lawns and washing cars but the owner bought them a suit and they started helping out on funerals. Many of these recruits grew to love the work and ended up getting licensed. In my opinion, the ones I have met who came in this way represent our best practitioners.

A few weeks ago I was working with a client and we took a break to go down the street and have lunch at Zaxby’s. I am confident that you, dear reader, have eaten in a “fast” food restaurants and the overall experience is…shall we say… underwhelming. This experience was remarkable. The young man who took our order was probably 17 or 18, well groomed and extraordinarily personable. He greeted us by looking us in the eye, he engaged with us, asked what we were doing for the holidays and sincerely thanked us for our order. WOW! He made an unmemorable experience memorable.

When my client and I sat down I asked him what he noticed about the young man and I was surprised to realize he hadn’t really noticed.  Sometimes we have our focus so intent on our own challenges we don’t see what’s around us. When I pointed out my observations he realized what I was talking about. When I told him I would have introduced myself and given him my card and asked him to stop by he got up and did it.

So, what should we do? We should do what our grandfathers did. We should be intentional about looking for solutions wherever we can find them.  We may not be able to solve the profession’s labor shortage but we can solve our own by recruiting locally. Yes, you will have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince or princess but you will be helping yourself along the way.

Two Questions Professional Experts Ask Themselves Before Meeting With Clients

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 3 Comments on Two Questions Professional Experts Ask Themselves Before Meeting With Clients

These two questions will help you set the stage and provide the service your families are looking for.

Today, there are two schools of thought on how to attract more families:

  • Low cost
  • Hyper service

To be financially successful as a low-cost provider requires a level of discipline and cost control rarely seen among funeral directors. So, these practitioners tend to work themselves into the ground just trying to keep things together.

The Hyper Service approach also requires discipline and fits the funeral director persona better but is often exhausting and because of the funeral director’s own price sensitivity doesn’t produce the rewards they are looking for.

It turns out that people who sell services for a living recognize the elemental issues in client transactions are simpler than we might think.

The client is seeking a solution for a problem they have little competence in from someone they believe has the competence they need. 

This wasn’t always the case in funeral service. 40 years ago, society dictated much of what we did when someone died. Families engaging in the process had only two fundamental decisions to make:

  1. Which funeral home to use
  2. What merchandise to buy

Our selection rooms did most of the heavy lifting when it came to controlling revenue. We simply orchestrated the family’s preferences as to where and when.

Meeting with today’s families takes significantly more skill than ever before. Not so much in efforts to convince them of the value of traditional funerals, but in helping them make choices that will actually contribute to creating meaningful experiences and, consequently, valued services.

Since I entered the workforce during the last century I have had a habit of asking myself two questions when I took on new responsibilities. Today I ask these questions each time I take on a new client or am in a new situation:

  1. Who am I?
  2. How can I contribute?

I fully understand that these are both ambiguous and abstract. But, applied situationally, they make a lot of sense.

Early in my career, I answered them this way:

  1. Who am I? I am a trained and willing worker who wants to succeed here.
  2. How can I contribute? I can listen carefully to instructions. I can figure out what is expected and how I will be judged. I can look for ways to accomplish my assignment quickly and accurately. I can look for ways to make my boss’s job easier.

Later on, the answers changed:

  1. Who am I? I am a seasoned and experienced executive with special gifts for resourcefulness and analysis and problem solving.
  2. How can I contribute? I can use my experience and gifts to identify root issues and develop strategies to overcome challenges to restore viability and sustainability to enterprises

So, how would I apply these two questions if I were a funeral director meeting with families? This might not be what you say (it is vitally important that you are totally authentic in answering these questions if you want them to work).  So, you need to find your own voice. I offer this only to help stimulate your own thinking.

  1. Who am I? I am an experienced and knowledgeable funeral professional who is able to guide families in making choices that will help them avoid regrets and honor lives in ways that are meaningful to them. I believe that meaningful services contribute to the fabric of our society.
  2. How can I contribute? I can listen carefully and reflect on my experience to offer meaningful options. I have the confidence, courage and expertise to provide direction and input that will empower families to avoid mistakes and carry on in healthy ways. I help people begin the journey to their new normal.

So, play with it. It’s fun and being deliberate in these two questions will lead to better service, greater appreciation from those you serve and more job satisfaction.

Should You Join The Family Firm?

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary, General Topics. 3 Comments on Should You Join The Family Firm?

Should You Join The Family Firm?

When John decided to pursue his career by coming to work at the family funeral home he thought (as did everyone else) that someday he would succeed his parents and own the firm. John is now 46 and his parents are in their late 60’s. In retrospect, John realizes that things haven’t been what he expected. He didn’t so much join the family firm as go to work for his parents.

At 46 John has never been allowed to make a major decision, never seen the company’s financial statements and is unsure whenever retirement comes for his parents whether he will have the chance to buy it (he has no significant cash resources) or if it will be sold to a third party.

This may sound bad to you, dear reader, but it is much more the norm than the exception. And it could all be avoided by asking some critical questions up front.

3 types of parents

I find 3 types of parents who own small businesses.

  • Those whose dream it is to pass the business on to their children
  • Those who welcome their children into the business but are ambivalent about it.
  • Those who would prefer their children seek other opportunities

From what I have learned about family businesses in general, each represents about 1/3 of current business owners.

But the real question is whether the current generation will ever be prepared to transition the business to their kids appropriately…and appropriately begins almost the day children join the business.

Trial period

It is often wise at a young age to “try on” the role. I do believe if children are considering funeral service as a career that they work for a couple of years at the family firm…just like everyone else. This means the same regimen, expectations, compensation and hours. NO SPECIAL TREATMENT. In this way, everyone has the chance before final commitments are made to see if it’s a good fit. Warning signs might be:

  • Inability to keep the same hours as other employees
  • Difficulty in interacting with families, guests and (especially) dead bodies
  • Lack of reliability
  • Inability to see oneself in this role for the rest of one’s life.
  • Inability to get along with your parents or siblings

There are good questions to ask yourself too:

  1. What is motivating me to join the firm?
    1. Dad or mom wants me to but I am not sure
    2. I can’t find anything else that interests me and I know I can get the job
    3. I can’t make as much money doing anything else
    4. I have watched my parents and I want to be like them
    5. I don’t really know
  2. Are family relationships healthy enough?
    1. Does our family have a track record of making good decisions together?
    2. Does my family value my input?
    3. How do we historically resolve disputes?
    4. What is my role compared to my siblings/cousins?
  3. Ask your parents early
    1. what is my career path?
    2. How will I be developed to take over running the firm?
    3. How will we know I am doing well?
    4. How do you envision my involvement in company governance?
    5. What, specifically, are your expectations for my performance?
    6. If we decide this is not a good fit, what then?
  4. is there a path to ownership?
    1. How do you imagine you will someday hand over ownership?
    2. is ownership available to siblings that don’t work in the business?
      1. If the answer to this is yes it should be a deal killer.
    3. How can I best contribute to the company’s prosperity?
    4. When it’s time for you to retire will I need to buy the company for full value or discounted value?
  5. Mom, Dad what is your vision for our future?
    1. what will we look like in 20 years?
    2. How will we get there?
    3. Will we still be relevant?
    4. Will my brothers and sisters be joining us?
      1. How will we determine who should be in charge?
      2. Will we have equal ownership?
        1. If so, how will we break the inevitable tie?

As I write this it occurs to me that most owners I know aren’t prepared for this type of conversation. But, maybe that’s a good thing. Because if you engage in this conversation (parents and children and key employees) it will cause you to crystallize some of the things you need to start working on to get you to that inevitable day.

100% of us will die and 100% will someday stop working. In my practice I see good stories; but, more often, I see sad stories. The good ones almost always are about people who thought things through ahead of time. The sad ones often didn’t think about it at all.

Fair Warning:

Funeral directors are notoriously passive-aggressive. This is especially so when they don’t want to address difficult issues. Sometimes it is necessary to have a 3rd party moderate this process. If, however, you are getting nowhere in getting your parents to address these important issues or answers are ambivalent and vague you have no right to expect that will ever change. So, you have a career decision to make. Some of the most successful owners I know had to confront the issue head-on and were prepared to leave the family firm. In the end, everyone was glad they did.  It’s called peace of mind.

Inside the Mind of Funeral Consumers

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary, The Video Blog, Video, Video Gallery. 4 Comments on Inside the Mind of Funeral Consumers

Several years ago the Funeral Service Foundation commissioned an unorthodox market research project. They retained one of the foremost market research firms – Olson Zaltman – to study the funeral consumer’s unconscious thoughts about funerals. They broke the research into two segments:

  • What consumers actually thought about funerals at the unconscious level
  • What consumers actually want in the form of their own service

The results were profound but, as with so many other things, it got lost in the day – to – humdrum that is funeral service. Of the funeral homes that have applied the findings, all have had significant consumer response and success.

Here is the first segment of a powerful video on how you can actually disrupt your own funeral market.

This week: what people really think about funerals, funeral homes and funeral directors.

https://youtu.be/ZknO0bZV_oU

What To Do When Your Heart Isn’t In Your Work Anymore

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in Leadership, The Creedy Commentary. 2 Comments on What To Do When Your Heart Isn’t In Your Work Anymore

Call it what you want: Career fatigue, burnout, and boredom. The truth is almost all of us go through times when we feel our heart isn’t in it anymore. In fact, research shows that only one in three of us are actually engaged at work.

I realize there are circumstantial issues that contribute to this; like working for a difficult boss. But if that is not your issue then read on.

I have come to believe that people need meaning and purpose in their life. Some find that meaning and purpose outside of work and just look at their job as…well, a job. But those that find meaning and purpose IN their work often live even better lives.

As a former CPA, I made a deliberate choice, almost 40 years ago, to commit my career to funeral service. I made this choice for two reasons: first, I really like funeral directors (well, most of them anyway) and I truly believe (in spite of apparent trends to the contrary) that you make a positive contribution to society…and I wanted to be part of that.

But the Achilles heal of funeral directors is a greater than average need for affirmation. And affirmation in this profession is definitely on the wane. Without that affirmation it is all too easy to begin experiencing your career as a job and not a purpose. Then things start to become mechanical and mundane and we get bored. We find ourselves focusing on the negative customer instead of the positive customer. We fail to see that we have to serve both but we need to enjoy the positive and be grateful rather than feel discouraged and unappreciated.

So, what to do?

I am not one for mission statements but I am one for purpose. The answer to the question: “Why am I here?” It is very hard to remember the answer while you are solely focused on draining the swamp. But, when I am in the doldrums I have learned to remind myself of the answer; AND, as I have grown older, to accept the fact that not everyone wants what I have to offer.

The purpose of funerals

I can’t speak for everyone and neither can you. But I can tell you what I see as the purpose and in doing so maybe stimulate your own thinking.

Over 40 years of observation I am struck by one commonality among all peoples and cultures. When difficult circumstances arise humans need the presence and comfort of others. It is more than words it is physical. An online condolence will never replace a hug. An email will never replace a phone call. A mailbag full of notes and cards will never replace the affirmation of a full church. And, because I believe it, I think people should know it.

So, my purpose would be to help people make better decisions and avoid regrets. To actually tell them what can work or not work but, in the end, they need to do something. Will they suffer lifelong psychological trauma if they don’t? Most will not. Some will. But your own experience confirms in case after case that if they will take the time to gather, hug and remember they will be glad they did and they will thank you for it.

And, as for my own motivation, I have realized as I help more and more people in my own practice that clients can’t help but bring their own dysfunction to the table. Sometimes when things get raw I have to remind myself that it really isn’t about me. No, no one is really mad at me but intra family issues are unpleasant: period. And besides, I am, you are, just as dysfunctional in our way as anyone else.

You have to go out, but you don’t have to come back.

                                         Sign in New England Coastal Life Saving Station

But my motivation comes from reminding myself regularly that my purpose is to help people. They don’t have to accept my help but I have to try. If they don’t want it or they ignore it that’s on them.

I have an inspirational friend who starts every day as he says goodbye to his kids telling them:

“I am not going to work, I am going to help someone today.”

 Now that’s the ticket!

By the way. If I owned a funeral home I would dedicate the wall outside the preproom as a purpose wall and I would paper it with the letters, notes and cards of appreciation I know you all get. I would also read each of them in a public staff meeting each month before I put them up. Or maybe I wouldn’t put it outside the preproom. I would put it in a place where the public could see it too. I would publicly recognize staff who were mentioned in these cards and letters. And maybe I would have photos of special families posted with some of the better ones.

Will you help someone today?

The Neurosis That Defines Funeral Service: Perfectionism

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary, General Topics. 2 Comments on The Neurosis That Defines Funeral Service: Perfectionism

I have a book on my office shelf entitled “Perfectionism…Sure Cure For Happiness”. The reason this is important is that, having performed almost 100 culture assessments in funeral service I know that perfectionism is the dominant industry neurosis.

Yes, I agree, “Funeral Service Is In The Details”. But it’s how we measure performance that gets it all cockamamie. In funeral service there is a fundamental, prevailing belief that colors our judgment of ourselves and others:

“A good funeral director works long, erratic hard hours.”

In fact, the most common badge of honor is between 60 & 70 hours a week. Now, I am not saying that there are not times when working 60 hours is necessary. But I will say, as I approach 40 years experience, that there are times when it is not. More important, is that the drive to honor this standard frequently produces guilt when one is not at work. This lack of work/life balance leads to family disappointment and guilt and a rising sense of burnout.

In recent years the consulting side of my practice has grown as I help people who still like what they do very much but are plain tired from the work and responsibility of owning a business. Helping the business run more efficiently is often easy. But the real work is in helping owners figure out how they can achieve a better work/life balance. And the single most common barrier to that is guilt. And my greatest champion is the spouse who has seen it all along.

Peter Drucker once observed:

“What is the major problem? It is fundamentally the confusion between effectiveness and efficiency that stands between doing the right things and doing things right. There is surely nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency that which should not be done at all.”

What would I do?

 Outside of hiring me to help you center and refocus and “get a life”, I would buy the book “E-myth” by Michael Gerber, take 3 days off in a quiet place (leave your cell phone at home) and read it. You should come away with some serious personal insights and that is where you must begin…with you.

One is often faced with choices. One choice will lead to resentment. The other choice will lead to guilt. Always choose guilt.

 

Arguing Funeral Directors Arguing Funeral Directors

Business Partners: The Rainmaker & The Operator

Written by Alan Creedy on . Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Leadership. 1 Comment on Business Partners: The Rainmaker & The Operator

Partnerships, by their very nature, are problematic. They are worse when there is not a clear vision of role differentiation that is understood by all and mutually respected.

This role differentiation is key to smooth and successful partnerships. When differentiation is not present roles tend to overlap and conflict. Competition among partners develops and eventually friction and misunderstandings occur.

Probably the worst I ever saw was two unmarried brothers who owned a business equally. They lived in the same house but years ago their relationship had deteriorated to the point that they had bricked up the middle of the house (formerly their parent’s) and each lived on their own side. Every day (and this is true) they left the house at the same time got in their respective cars and drove to the business, got out of their cars and went to their offices on opposite sides of the building. As far as anyone knew they hadn’t spoken in at least ten years to each other.

Parents will sometimes tell me they want me to help them transfer the business to two siblings equally. My response. “I will be glad to do that if you can tell me how they will break the tie.” Sometimes they protest that they always agree to which I give them my most incredulous facial expression. But most of the time they will get what I am talking about and we can figure out a solution.

Not infrequently, partners will “fall into” roles that actually suit them. What they fail to do is make it official. My favorite and, seemingly, the most functional are the rainmaker and the operator. It’s not that both can’t function in either role. Rather, one is more comfortable and effective in one over the other. Personally, I am more comfortable in an operator role. Maybe that’s why I like this model.

Rainmakers focus much of their energy on the external needs of the business. Obviously, customer and community relations are part of that. They are typically active in community organizations and spend time developing business. But rainmakers also tend to be more future-oriented. They like to keep moving forward. While change is not always a passion of theirs, they do seem to be more aware that they can’t stand still.

Operators tend to focus more on the internal needs of the business. They spend their time thinking about daily needs like schedules, personnel, costs profitability. Again, it is not that they can’t be a rainmaker and they often are. Rather they are more comfortable and effective with the daily issues of running a business.

The problem comes when one partner or the staff or one of the owner’s spouses (or both) see one as more important than the other. The best functioning of these teams knows they need each other. The operator enables the rainmaker to make rain and the rainmaker gives the operator something to operate. They enable each other to be the most effective for the good of the company.  Can you say R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

A true rainmaker without an able operator ends up with a mess. An operator without a rainmaker ends up in a rut and, sometimes, a failing business.

So, if this is your situation maybe this is a start: Take each other to lunch and say:

“I don’t always know what the heck you are doing and sometimes I think you are jerk. But I appreciate that you do what you do and make us better. thanks.”

By the way there are effective ways to solve the standoff when equal partners disagree.