Author: Alan Creedy

The Excellence Trap: How We Confuse Efficiency With Effectiveness

Written by Alan Creedy on November 18, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Leadership. No Comments on The Excellence Trap: How We Confuse Efficiency With Effectiveness

Are you a shop foreman or a leader?

In recent years a new focus has crept in to the profession. We are trending toward becoming shop foremen instead of leaders. The belief being that we must measure everything and compare everyone to everyone else. This is, in fact, a good idea and a long time coming. But it is what we are measuring that is impairing our ability to adapt and seize the future. When you measure each person’s average sale, customers served and customer responses what are you actually measuring? In the end these are important numbers for the shop foreman to know but when your focus is on “hitting the numbers” you are in danger of losing sight of the bigger picture: repositioning yourself to be attractive to the market at the right price points. So, while there is nothing wrong with the metrics, does it really produce long-term excellence? Research suggests the answer is no.

Ask any funeral home owner what differentiates them from their competitors and you can expect one answer: “Service.” Ask them to be more specific and you get a lot of stuttering. Yet, a singular preoccupation among the better funeral homes is something called “Excellence.” Here, again, drill down and it’s as elusive as trying to hold mercury in your hands.

Here’s the rub, and you know it. The bulk of practitioners, while claiming high service levels, are not that good. So, if you are simply more than mediocre you have a good chance of outperforming your own competitors. But more than mediocre is not the same as excellence.

The fatal flaw in our thinking is that we confuse flawless execution with excellence. They are not the same thing. Our professional preoccupation with flawlessness has a corollary effect that is now becoming a major stumbling block for our profession: It blocks our ability to adapt.

When you and your staff fear making a mistake more than becoming irrelevant, when you fear change because it is messy, when you fear the rebuke of your colleagues and worst of all you think you can find refuge in the profession’s conventional wisdom you are at great risk of being outflanked by forces beyond your control.

Many firms have invested heavily in staff training and implementation of individual tracking systems. But the training and the metrics only lay a foundation and are not the end all for proper leadership. Remember, managers give direction…leaders set direction. This recent emphasis on measuring and training has simply brought us current. It has not addressed the future. You have also heard me say that we are a profession over-managed and under-led. And it’s starting to bite us…hard! It is because I am witnessing so many firms stop short of what is really needed that I write this blog.

Here is the problem:

Measuring everything, flawless execution and obsessing over mistakes or potential mistakes may lead to excellence in the PROCESS while inhibiting excellence in the RESULTS. In the 1970’s Swiss watchmakers lost control of the wrist watch market by focusing on Process Excellence over Excellence in Results. Click here to learn more.

Jake Breeden, author of “Tipping Sacred Cows,” says it this way:

“Excellence is the drug of choice for the ambitious perfectionist, and it can lead to exhaustion and ruin. High standards are wasted on activities of low importance because leaders can’t give themselves a break. Some leaders obsess over every mistake, even the ones that don’t matter…When excellence is worshipped it becomes a goal in and of itself, disconnected from the larger goal.”

And this is exactly what I see. Service is confused with flawless execution of conventional practices. We are only doing better what we have always done. Some of which shouldn’t be done at all. The focus is managing to the metrics and so we abdicate our leadership role to become shop foremen.

So what is the difference? As I think about this question one word keeps leaping to my mind: agility. With the variety of consumer preferences becoming so complex that it is almost fluid, arrangers need an alert and agile mind free from the burden of flawless execution and rigid conformity to preset expectations to even begin to understand the dynamics impacting each individual customer and respond accordingly.

Some things do need to be measured. I don’t disagree with providing metrics as benchmarks. I violently disagree with their use as carrots and sticks for your employees. The overriding test of excellence in results is continuing growth in market share and revenue per call. Impossible? No, a few are doing both.

My advice? Chill out. Major on the majors and let the minors take care of themselves.

Sharks and People

Written by Alan Creedy on October 29, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary. 1 Comment on Sharks and People

One man sat at a stop light. The woman in front of him was going through papers on the seat of her car, and when the light changed to green she didn’t go. A green light is not a suggestion, you know, it is more of a commandment. But she didn’t notice.

When the light turned red again, she still had not moved. The man in the car behind her now started screaming epithets and beating on his steering wheel.

A policeman tapped on his windshield. “You can’t arrest me for hollering in my car,” the man said. The cop asked for his license and registration, returned to his car, talked on the radio for a while and finally handed the papers back. The driver protested, “I knew you couldn’t cite me for yelling in my own car!”

The officer replied, “I didn’t want to cite you for shouting in your car. But I was behind you at the light and saw you screaming and beating your steering wheel. I said to myself, ‘That guy is out of control. He’s going to hurt someone.’ Then I noticed your ‘Love Is a Choice’ and ‘Give Peace a Chance’ bumper stickers and I was sure you stole the car.”

What the signs on his vehicle said about him and the way he actually behaved looked like, well, two different people. But let’s not be too critical. Are we always the people we want to be? I believe in love and justice, forgiveness and second chances and generosity – but I don’t always live up to the ideals I profess.

It helps me to think of sharks. We’re told that some kinds of sharks can’t breathe unless they swim. They get oxygen from the movement of the sea over their gills and they can only make this happen by constantly moving through the water. In other words, they must keep moving forward to live.

Likewise, humans who want to live well must also keep moving forward. Forward toward the people we want to be. Forward toward our goals and ideals. Change is almost always incremental – a little bit each day. But we must keep moving forward.

As author Marianne Williamson says, “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” But I find great passion in stretching a little farther than I think I can. I hang on to the belief that it is better to reach too far and fall short than to settle for mediocrity and succeed.

Yes, I don’t always give peace a chance and I don’t always choose love first. And more often than I care to admit, the person I am today doesn’t wholly resemble the one I hope to be tomorrow. But all of that is all right, so long as I keep moving forward, little by little, every day.

Life demands that sharks and people keep moving forward.

By Steve Goodier http://www.lifesupportsystem.com/

Caregiver or Martyr? Beware the Rescuer Trap

Written by Alan Creedy on October 14, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 1 Comment on Caregiver or Martyr? Beware the Rescuer Trap

Are you addicted to helping others or are your customer relationships creating unhealthy responses? Perhaps you’ve fallen victim to the Rescuer Syndrome.

One of the common threads I am discovering as I get deeper into the study of culture within the funeral profession is the belief that one must be a “suffering servant” doing what we are told and working long hard hours for low pay. This belief often becomes a badge of honor for some.

Funeral Directors are supposed to be caregivers. But too many take it too far. They hate confrontation, preferring encounters that result in gratitude if not downright worship. They begin to define themselves by their ability to generate effusive gratitude on the part of those they serve.

This is not necessarily a bad thing as we are supposed to serve in ways that would normally generate appreciation. But when it becomes an obsession that impacts the quality of life and the quality of leadership in your organization the byproducts are less than healthy.

What I am finding is that the desire to help is not always driven by purely altruistic motives. Some people are motivated less by the desire to benefit others and contribute to the common good and more by a deeper emotional need within themselves. These people are “rescuers” for whom the need to help becomes like an addiction. Excessive helping, the compulsive need to save people, can lead to co-dependency and emotional and career burnout.

It is, indeed, a challenge to differentiate between your own needs and those of the people you are purporting to help. If you can no longer make this differentiation it becomes costly to you and the people who work with you.

When does helping change to rescuing? How do you spot somebody who goes over the line? How do you know if you’re a rescuer yourself? And how can the problem of rescuer syndrome be resolved?

Are you a rescuer?

Rescuers are seldom aware of their underlying motivations and genuinely believe their intentions are good. Anyone who is struggling with work – life issues should remain vigilant when their role includes helping people and look out for warning signs of rescuer behavior.

Following is a checklist of danger signs:

Do you find it difficult to make time for yourself?
Do you feel guilt when you are not at work even when you don’t need to be?
Do you work hard long hours because “someone has to be there.”
Do you feel you have to keep on top of everything?
Do you often feel you must just persevere?
Do you feel uncomfortable receiving help from other people?
Do you regularly feel exhausted with the effort of helping people?
Do you worry incessantly about making a mistake?
Do you overreact when a mistake is made?
Do you cancel vacations or time off when a friend or prominent person uses your firm?
Do you routinely encourage staff to make their problems your problems?
Do you feel you have to have an answer for everything?

I can hear it now: “But Alan, this is funeral service. This is the way it is.” Is it? Or are there better ways? Ways that are more effective, healthy and supportive of a work – life balance. The more often the response to the questions above is yes, the more likely the person is prone to the rescuer syndrome.

The Rescuer Syndrome

The “rescuer syndrome” while not an officially recognized disorder is a widely acknowledged phenomenon. It manifests itself when helping turns into a compulsion. Rescuers don’t realize their behavior is compulsive and dysfunctional – they believe that given all the efforts they make, their efforts are helpful.

The Serial Rescuer

Some people fall into the role of rescuer by circumstance, there may be paternal or maternal feelings involved. In these cases the situation usually reaches a crisis point, followed by a period of recovery. Serial rescuers, however, (the kinds of people continually on the lookout for someone who needs rescuing) usually fail to reach this point, as they do not acquire insight into what they are doing and never confront it. I see this often as I encounter owners or managers who fail (or refuse) to develop staff to free them of the burden of making EVERY decision. I call them pyromaniac firemen. They love swooping in to put out fires which are actually of their own creation.

Most serial rescuers feel uncomfortable in equal relationships; they feed off a vulnerable and dependent person and feel satisfied when able to elicit gratitude and appreciation.

The actions of a compulsive rescuer can harm the interests of those supposedly being helped. And in many cases the rescuer is at risk of being harmed.

Burnout

The emotional labor associated with helping drains energy. For some funeral directors this behavior results in a loss of idealism and purpose, they can become cynical, tired and apathetic. Their positive outlook and work effort are compromised.

Serial rescuers may also lose a sense of boundaries. Many have difficulty getting in touch with their own emotions, they may experience intense stress, feelings of inadequacy and low self-regard and seek “redemption” from these emotions by helping others, not realizing that continually trying to meet other people’s expectations only exacerbates self destruction.

Managing the rescuer syndrome

The only way to address the rescuer syndrome is to face up to it.

The challenge is to help people recognize the signs that they may have fallen victim to the syndrome. Rescuers can only change their behavior if they recognize the flaws in their reasoning of why they are obliged to help.

During the journey towards change, a number of issues need to be addressed. Paradoxically, helpers need to become more selfish; they need to be nicer to themselves. They need to actualize their own dreams and aspirations rather than constantly focusing on others. They also need to learn how to enjoy themselves and take stock of the kind of people they are attracted to.

They need to realize that having a life actually empowers them to be more constructively helpful. Thus dealing with the rescue syndrome doesn’t mean having to give up helping people. Constructive helpers can be catalysts in the process of assisting people to solve their problems, but rescuers need to realize that their role is to encourage others to make difficult decisions for themselves. This is, perhaps, our greatest challenge. To help people (customers and employees) requires challenging them openly. There is risk in a constructive relationship. Not every one wants our help. But most do and when we actually help them help themselves instead of “doing” for them, they appreciate us more.

To be a constructive helper, a person needs to think rationally, objectively and dispassionately and to have sufficient self-knowledge to know how to prevent their own emotional health affecting those they aim to help. The capacity to take distance—and not to be emotionally sucked into whatever the problem is—is going to be critical.

Through self-understanding, funeral directors can raise the quality of their relationships by becoming aware of their own unique attachments and biases. By knowing their own limitations they can ensure that they don’t fall victim to the Rescuer Syndrome.

Making Myself Unnecessary

Written by Alan Creedy on October 7, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Leadership. No Comments on Making Myself Unnecessary

I am a little annoyed with myself. As I address this topic of Leadership i find that I have fallen into the same trap as most others. I have succeeded in treating the difference between managers and leaders as two ends of a continuum and conveying the impression that one (managers) is bad and the other (leaders) is good.

In truth they are both good when they are good and abysmal when they are bad. But the point is they need each other. More to the point, in small business, senior management must almost perpetually play both roles simultaneously. The Bible says one cannot serve two masters because you will love the one and hate the other. And so it is when you must always wear two hats. We will gravitate toward one and develop a comfort zone and neglect the other.

The key to reaching the point of unnecessariness (I know it’s not a word) is emphasizing leadership traits over management traits in oneself.

Why Become Unnecessary?

Besides the obvious succession issues that this state provides there are some other significant benefits:

The Lone Warrior Hero is a myth that negatively impacts family relationships and health
Truly developing others to their own peak can be fun
Today’s competitive advantage comes from teams with shared vision and mutual loyalties
Teams equal shared burdens
No one is infallible but teams strengthen and safeguard, getting us closer to infallibility
Intentionally becoming unnecessary is a courageous and mature act of caring that is far more admirable than being a marginally successful Lone Warrior Hero
Intentionally becoming unnecessary protects and develops THE BUSINESS by focusing on what is needed for ITS success over the ego of the Lone Warrior Hero

How to Become Unnecessary.

This act requires a significant change of thinking for most people. It means intentionally shifting credit and prestige to others so that, over time, you are less and less visible but more and more successful.

Without using names let me tell you about a personal hero. I doubt many of you know this gentleman and I am confident most of you have never heard of him. But starting about 35 years ago this man began orchestrating a series of events that led to his firm owning about 2/3 of the funeral homes in his state. This sweet-natured self-effacing man had a vision. Unlike many, he had no real need for fame but was quite content to engineer things from behind the scenes. I am aware that many in our profession believe his partners orchestrated this success story but the reality is different from the appearance. As a result, this firm is not only successful by any definition it will be sustainable for several generations. He laid a cultural groundwork that will long outlive him.

What can we learn from him? The first is that we must have a long term vision. If your reason for becoming unnecessary is your personal leisure or your own fame and financial success it will be much harder to achieve. Second, by hiring people “better” than himself he was able to achieve far more than he could have individually and, finally, he is leaving a legacy for his future. Not a legacy of fame, but a legacy of achievement. Frankly, that’s what I want. Don’t you?

PP*2 ≠ FF

Written by Alan Creedy on September 30, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 1 Comment on PP*2 ≠ FF

Protecting the Past and Perfecting the Present Does Not Equal Finding a Future.

Rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic is a behavior often seen in organizations responding to massive change. Why is that? and why is it so prevalent in DeathCare.

It turns out our century old culture is to blame and resolving a very vulnerable “chink in our armor” will involve both frank discussion and humility. WE ARE ALL GUILTY.

Heidi Grant Halvorson and E. Tory Higgins in their recently published book, “Focus,” posed a provocative question:

“Do you play to win– or not to lose?”

As I read the book it seemed to me that the overwhelming majority of the DeathCare profession is focused on “Not Losing”. Ms. Halvorson labels this mindset as “Prevention Focused.” Further, ALL of our associations are fully prevention focused. My favorite phrase is:

Funeral service is a place where more time is spent on thwarting things than doing things…but in the nicest way

Prevention focused organizations and people are preoccupied with preventing bad things from happening and, as a result, spend little or no time focused on making good things happen. Activities like imagining a brighter future, how we can reengage our customers, developing exciting new skill sets and exploring opportunities for adaptation that goes beyond re-merchandising what we already do are virtually ignored or, even, dismissed. After 30 years of “Prevention Focused” leadership I think it’s time to change it up.

No, I don’t mean a full swing of the pendulum toward what Halvorson and Terri call Promotion-Focused. Rather, how about some balance? Here is a comparison of typical traits of both types.

This explains to me why we seem predisposed to so much doom and gloom.

Halvorson and Terri approach this topic from the perspective of managing to the type. In other words, if the profession is prevention focused then you should speak to it and motivate it by using prevention type language. I guess this is what our associations have been doing. If that were working that would be ok. BUT IT’S NOT!

As for me, I tend a little toward the prevention minded. It seems to take more than it gives. So, learning about this theory has caused me to rethink my World View. I think we need a little more winning and a lot less losing. I have been approaching things in a new way lately. Instead of harping on what is going bad and how awful it is, I ask people: “What’s working? How can we do more?” Instead of focusing so much on what is changing, let’s talk about what is not and sift out the opportunity. Instead of thinking about how we can slow down the erosion, I think about how we can rebuild and reimagine to grow margins.

Am I whistling in the cemetery? I don’t know. But it seems to be working. Not just for me but for the clients who assume similar approaches.

In my opinion the one thing people want is for their death experience to transform them in some way. Prevention minded folk will have a hard time doing that. In fact, more often than not, we leave them the way we find them. Which is one reason they look elsewhere to satisfy their needs.

How about you? Don’t you feel it’s time for a little optimism, a little energizing and at least a little self confidence?

Now For Something Completely New

Written by Alan Creedy on September 23, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, General Topics, Video Gallery. 3 Comments on Now For Something Completely New

As I travel about the country I encounter a lot of good ideas and some bad. It seems to me that my readers might enjoy learning about some of these first hand.

Not long ago I encountered a young funeral home owner who had improved on an old idea. In fact, when I first saw what he had done my first reaction was “nothing new here!” But I was wrong. Matt Jones and his crew at Blue Dove Software have taken video tributes to a whole new level. I particularly like the ease of use, speed of deployment and all inclusive approach. It seems like there is nothing Matt hasn’t thought of.

As you watch this inaugural video “Dog & Pony” Show look for these things:

Simplicity and speed
The integration of tributes into eulogies
The full automatic integration of tributes, websites AND social media
Ability to support multiple screens with different content
Automatically launches a website for each family

I encourage you to contact Blue Dove for a personal demonstration.

What DeathCare Can Learn From The Way Women Dress…An Epiphany

Written by Alan Creedy on September 16, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 5 Comments on What DeathCare Can Learn From The Way Women Dress…An Epiphany

Insights come from the strangest places. This time from why women dress the way they do.

My wife has bad feet. Most women do. Why? Because women’s shoes are not designed for practicality. They are intended only to create an impression. Comfort and productivity, as purpose, are lost in favor of competing with others.

When my children were in high school their youth pastor did something very bold, even risky. Frustrated with the immodest behavior of the girls and the consequent disruption it created with the boys and other girls he held an open meeting. Somehow he got the kids to talk about the impression provocative dress and behavior created in the boys. Everyone was surprised to learn that the girls had absolutely no idea the impact their provocative attire and behavior was having on the boys. More to the point they were horrified by the opinion of them the boys formed as a result.

I couldn’t help but be curious about how the girls could have missed something so obvious to even a casual observer. At the time, I had a friend who was a retired psychiatrist. I shared this with him and his response was even more surprising. “What you don’t understand,” he said, “is that women don’t dress for men. They dress for other women. It’s about competition not attraction.” Again, I had to check this out and, sure enough, every woman I spoke with, including my wife, acknowledged this truth. WOW!

What has this to do with DeathCare?

I have always been curious about the “herd effect” so prevalent in this profession. Ideas are not adopted because they are good or because they fit a given firm’s strategy. Nor are they adopted because they work. No, they are adopted because they are trendy. People don’t innovate for competitive advantage but to impress other funeral directors. This would, at least for me, explain the overwhelming prevalence of mediocrity in preneed programs.

Could this be the thinking: I don’t want to sell preneed but if I don’t have a preneed program people will think I am stupid. So I will do something just so I can say I have a preneed program. Or, worse, I will build a 30,000 square foot megabuilding so people will THINK I am successful.

I honestly don’t know. I hope not. But something in me says I am at least partly right. So, if the results of wearing bad shoes is bad feet what is the result of herd behavior? Bad results?

FUNERAL SERVICE : YOUR FLY IS UNZIPPED

Written by Alan Creedy on August 5, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas. 5 Comments on FUNERAL SERVICE : YOUR FLY IS UNZIPPED

OR WHY FUNERAL DIRECTORS ARE NEUROTIC

A pastor friend once told me: “The test of love is whether or not you are willing to tell someone their fly is unzipped.”

Funeral service I love what you do and I love many of you. Your fly is unzipped.

My phone rings: “Al, this is Ron.”

Me: “hey Ron.” (That’s how we talk in the South)

Ron: “I just got home from trying to make my prearrangements at the funeral home and I am totally confused. Can you go back and help me? and by the way, I want you to do my eulogy.”

Me: “Well, gee, thanks Ron. I am honored. I’ll be glad to do it. Are you Ok?”

Ron: “I’m fine. I just need to get this done. As for the eulogy, you’re the only one who will tell my story the way I want it.”

This is a true story. Ron is one of my best friends. 7 years older, he is a graduate of West Point (class of ’65) and a nuclear engineer. He is retired from a prominent career in the nuclear power industry and is considered an international expert on quality control. In other words he is smart. I have known him for 28 years. He is a man on a clock. This story occurred when he had turned 65 and 65 was when you took care of your funeral arrangements. 45 was when you took care of your cemetery arrangements.

We arrive at the funeral home at our appointed time and are ushered into the arrangements office. A few moments later the funeral director enters. I know him. Approaching retirement he has had a long successful career, serves on a national committee and (I think) has served on the board of his state association. He is someone I both like and respect. We will call him John (not his real name).

John (setting down a legal pad and a folder): “Ok. What do you want?”

Ron and me (exchanging glances): “Well, what do you have?”

John: “It depends on what you want.”

We go back and forth like this for a few minutes and finally I take over. I am not a funeral director and I was careful not to break any laws but I know enough to lead a discussion. (Operative word: “lead”)

Me: “Ron, I know you have already bought your cemetery plots so I am assuming you plan on having something approximating a traditional funeral.”

Ron: “Of course.”

Me: “would you like a visitation the night before the funeral?”

Ron: “yes.”

Me: “john, would you write that down?”

Me: “Were you planning on a military style funeral”

Ron: “Of course. My roommate (a former chairman of the joint chiefs of staff), if he is still living, is going to do the flag presentation. It’s a West Point custom.”

Me: “Great, do you think you might like a bagpiper at the gravesite?”

Ron (surprised look on his face): “Can I have a bagpiper?”

Me: “John, can you arrange a bagpiper?”

John: “yes”

Me: “good, write that down too, John.”

I won’t go through the whole scene but that was the way the conversation went. We ended up with a funeral somewhere in the 5 figure range.

Let me repeat: I am not a funeral director! But I know when someone needs me to put my expert hat on.

At the time of this post I am 63. This happened 4 or 5 years ago. I have now assisted 3 other friends with their prearrangements and two with at need arrangements. All but one with different funeral directors. People I know and respect. All with 30 to 40 years experience. Exactly the same experience each time.

I don’t know about you but I am alarmed!

For the 33 years of my career in funeral service I have assumed that once you had around 5 year’s experience you were pretty much on top of your game. These experiences caused me great concern. So, I began experimenting and it went like this:

I would be at an industry gathering either speaking or facilitating and I would create an opportunity to ask:

“let me ask you. You graduate from mortuary school, you go to work. Maybe you are a first generation funeral director or you go into the family firm. It doesn’t matter. You start out working visitations, assisting with body prep, doing removals, embalming, mowing the lawn. You’ve been there a number of months and one day the funeral home gets really busy and without warning someone hands you a file, says: ‘The Smith Family is coming in at 2:00 to make arrangements. Good luck.’

and there you are…on your own. Is that what happens?”

The responses, dear readers, shocked me and I hope they will you as well:

“Exactly. But they didn’t say good luck. They said: “Don’t Screw it up.”

“Yup. That’s how it is. But they didn’t say good luck. They said: “Don’t worry. It’s only a cremation.”

“Yeah, and it was a saturday and the family name was Jaworksi” (this was 40 years later)

“So, let me get this straight.” I query further. “You’ve been doing this 25, 30, 40 years and you have never been trained on how to make arrangements.”

“nope.”

“Have you ever observed someone else making arrangements?” “nope.”

“Has anyone else ever observed you and offered suggestions.” “nope.”

OMG!!!! Holy Cow!!!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE

After doing this for several months with different groups ranging in size from 9 to over 50 all the inconsistencies:

The unwillingness to defend ourselves, the capitulation to cremation, the preoccupation with prominence over significance fell into place. I had, for years, been confused by these things. Now I understood.

We won’t defend ourselves.

We won’t address and adapt to change.

We won’t do anything that even hints of upsetting the customer even when we know what they are doing will hurt them in the long term.

We are frustrated. Maybe even despairing.

We feel trapped.

We are relentlessly being marginalized by the public.

Our businesses…our livelihoods are in jeopardy.

BECAUSE

We have no way of knowing what we are doing is right. We are making it up as we go along hoping it will turn out alright. We judge our effectiveness and accomplishments solely by the reaction of others. If they like us, life is good. If they don’t, life is very, very bad.

We think it’s just us. Surely other funeral directors know what they are doing. So we say:

“If I rigidly follow the rules, meekly acquiesce to every request, sacrifice my family over-serving my customer, throw in a free video tribute maybe no one will find out that I don’t know what I am doing.”

This revelation creates in me simultaneous despair and wild optimism.

If this is the root and core of our low self-image and unwillingness to stand up for what we believe the consequences of doing nothing are plain for all to see.

At the same time, “We Can Fix This.”

The only question that remains is: “Will we?”

Let me say this: “I believe this is a noble profession. I can quantify my belief and I can stand for it publicly without reservation. As a profession it is eminently defendable. Yes, I fully understand that not everyone in it is noble. But ask yourself:

How noble would I be, could I be, if every day I had no way of really knowing if I were doing it right?.”

In my mind, (and I concede it may only be in my mind ;)) this travesty is a potential lynchpin for turning this industry (sorry, you can’t call untrained people who aren’t able to stand for what they believe professionals) to turn itself around.

I use strong language here deliberately to startle you and maybe to make you say “No More”. In your hearts you are great people. You serve a noble profession but your self doubt is a significant stumbling block.

Now you know you are not the only one. In fact, you are in the majority. Now you can see the king has no clothes. What are you going to do about it?

You may want to read more about my beliefs here.

Our Industry’s Self Talk: The Bad and the Great.

Written by Alan Creedy on July 22, 2013. Posted in Video Gallery, Leadership, Practitioner Forum: Insights and Ideas, The Creedy Commentary, The Video Blog, Video. 1 Comment on Our Industry’s Self Talk: The Bad and the Great.

Alternative Title: It’s Time To Get Over Yourself!

Not long ago I was part of a group studying the challenges of recruitment in the funeral profession. I was stunned to hear the “table talk” of practicing funeral directors.

Our conversations centered around why people wouldn’t want to be funeral directors…the long and unpredictable work hours, the low pay. Worst of all, and a major factor making recruitment difficult, was having to work with dead bodies. I finally felt compelled to speak up:

“What I am hearing you saying,” I told the group, “is that if it weren’t for the abysmal working conditions and those darn bodies this would be a pretty good job.”

What I was really thinking was: “how can you expect people to want to work in this profession if all you talk about is the unpleasant stuff?” The reason this is so vivid for me is that I don’t agree with the low pay / long hours part and I don’t know any career funeral directors who function as professionals that do this job for the money. For my career of more than 30 years it has been my observation that the successful ones do it for the psychic rewards as much as and probably more than the monetary rewards.

The Canadian Funeral Directors Associations published this video recently. View it. Hopefully, you will be inspired as I was. Hopefully, it will remind you why you are here. And, hopefully you will ask yourself what is significant about what I do?

Thank You Canada!!

As for the abysmal working conditions: I am an accountant. How would you like to conduct an inventory audit in a frozen food plant? What do you think it is like for accountant’s families during tax season? How would you like to be assigned to reconcile accounts and prove veracity on financial statements? BORING, COLD, SMELLY AND TEDIOUS are all words that come to mind.

On Motivation – Money Is Not The Answer

Written by Alan Creedy on July 15, 2013. Posted in Video Gallery, Leadership, The Creedy Commentary, The Video Blog, Video. 1 Comment on On Motivation – Money Is Not The Answer

Did you know that money is not a motivator. It is only a hygiene factor. Paying too little creates dissatisfaction…paying fairly only takes away the bone of contention…paying too much does not create enthusiasm and can often lead to dissatisfaction.

So what really motivates people. It’s simpler than you think and if you are as introspective as I can be at times you will realize you already know it. The trick is to get over your personal trash and execute what, strangely, seems counterintuitive but is really not.

I try to keep the amount of time you need to commit to my posts limited but this 20 minute video is too good to exclude Dan Ariely shares how to really motivate and demotivate people.

Take Aways:

Ignoring contributions is the same as shredding people’s work in their faces
Meaning is more important than efficiency
When people have to make an effort (work harder) at something they actually love their work more

So, go get a cup of coffee, sit back and learn something valuable enough to spend 20 minutes.

Roadmap To A Great Legacy

Written by Alan Creedy on July 8, 2013. Posted in Video Gallery, Leadership, The Video Blog, Video. No Comments on Roadmap To A Great Legacy

I started out too many weeks ago addressing the virtues of a senior leader making themselves unnecessary and I ran straight into a wall! My apologies but this is too important to take lightly so I took my time to untangle the issues and turns out it’s really pretty simple. There are three roles each person must assume as they progress in their career in order to orchestrate a successful succession strategy and THEY START FROM DAY ONE!

DO
LEAD TO DO
LET DO

You may want to review the first three posts in this series to refresh your memory before you read on:

Are You Too Necessary?

On Becoming Unnecessary

I Wish I Had Said That

Sometimes the owner’s children enter employment with the expectation they will eventually own the firm. While often correct, that expectation leads them to assume they are entitled to certain authority and privileges from day one. This not the DONE phase it is the DO phase. It is obvious from day one you will eventually own the firm what is not known is if you can run the firm. So, you must do before you can “lead-to-do”. You must earn the respect of your colleagues. More important, you must LEARN the business. Consider it an apprenticeship. Assuming that you will eventually run the business you should take every opportunity to LEARN it. You should avail yourself of access to mentors (often those in the “Let Do” phase). You should attend industry conferences. If you are wise you will attend some non-industry conferences as well.

Ultimately, if qualified, successors should enter the “Lead-To-Do” phase where their attention now turns to company direction, change, strategy, management and more. Again, they should do this under the tutelage of the generation that preceded them accepting more and more responsibility from those who are entering the “Let Do” phase. They use the experience gained in the “Do” phase to address the issues of today and begin developing that “next generation.”

Finally, and this often seems the hardest, is the “Let-Do” phase. This is where becoming unnecessary finally begins to be a reality. While certainly less rigorous than the previous stages there is an expectation that you actively participate in the leadership of the firm as it applies to the wisdom and experience you have garnered. It also means you graduate to more relationship roles like community activities and, very important, mentoring the “Do” generation. Phrased in the negative this makes you increasingly unnecessary. Phrased in the positive this is about leaving a personal legacy.

For me, this concept is embodied in the stages of development expressed in this wonderful & entertaining video. It’s a little long but I don’t think you will regret the investment of time.

So, I leave you with a question:

When it is time for you to finally retire what do you want?

A firm crippled by your absence?
or capable, competent people who can carry on your legacy?

Whether your successor is one of your children or employees the legacy you leave tells so much about whether you loved them or yourself.

I Wish I Had Said That:

Written by Alan Creedy on June 3, 2013. Posted in The Creedy Commentary, Leadership. 1 Comment on I Wish I Had Said That:

Sometimes you read stuff and it fits so perfectly all you are left with is: “I wish I had said that.”

Just as I was preparing my next followup article on how to make yourself unnecessary Linked-In published this blog post. Since I couldn’t improve on it I will just share it.

If you are serious about empowering your staff to be more responsible and accountable you should print it out and post it where you will see it every day. As you read it here are some things you should think about:

Are you acting more like a manager or a leader?
What behaviors would cause your staff to take more responsibility?
What behaviors discourage initiative?
What behaviors create distrust and fear?
What behaviors establish mutual respect?

The Difference Between Leaders and Managers

It’s time to face the music as a manager: You don’t always have all of the right answers. Your “it’s my way or the highway” approach to management isn’t going to encourage anyone to help you in your problem solving endeavors.

Managers and leaders are often referred to synonymously, but only leaders allow their employees to solve problems with their own insight. The truth of the matter is this: Every leader may not be a manager, but every manager should be a leader. It’s easy to see that leadership and management aren’t the same thing, but a manager who lacks effective leadership traits will drive a business into the ground faster than you can count to 10. Read More…