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Author: Alan Creedy

Should You Join The Family Firm?

Should You Join The Family Firm?

When John decided to pursue his career by coming to work at the family funeral home he thought (as did everyone else) that someday he would succeed his parents and own the firm. John is now 46 and his parents are in their late 60’s. In retrospect, John realizes that things haven’t been what he expected. He didn’t so much join the family firm as go to work for his parents.

At 46 John has never been allowed to make a major decision, never seen the company’s financial statements and is unsure whenever retirement comes for his parents whether he will have the chance to buy it (he has no significant cash resources) or if it will be sold to a third party.

This may sound bad to you, dear reader, but it is much more the norm than the exception. And it could all be avoided by asking some critical questions up front.

3 types of parents

I find 3 types of parents who own small businesses.

  • Those whose dream it is to pass the business on to their children
  • Those who welcome their children into the business but are ambivalent about it.
  • Those who would prefer their children seek other opportunities

From what I have learned about family businesses in general, each represents about 1/3 of current business owners.

But the real question is whether the current generation will ever be prepared to transition the business to their kids appropriately…and appropriately begins almost the day children join the business.

Trial period

It is often wise at a young age to “try on” the role. I do believe if children are considering funeral service as a career that they work for a couple of years at the family firm…just like everyone else. This means the same regimen, expectations, compensation and hours. NO SPECIAL TREATMENT. In this way, everyone has the chance before final commitments are made to see if it’s a good fit. Warning signs might be:

  • Inability to keep the same hours as other employees
  • Difficulty in interacting with families, guests and (especially) dead bodies
  • Lack of reliability
  • Inability to see oneself in this role for the rest of one’s life.
  • Inability to get along with your parents or siblings

There are good questions to ask yourself too:

  1. What is motivating me to join the firm?
    1. Dad or mom wants me to but I am not sure
    2. I can’t find anything else that interests me and I know I can get the job
    3. I can’t make as much money doing anything else
    4. I have watched my parents and I want to be like them
    5. I don’t really know
  2. Are family relationships healthy enough?
    1. Does our family have a track record of making good decisions together?
    2. Does my family value my input?
    3. How do we historically resolve disputes?
    4. What is my role compared to my siblings/cousins?
  3. Ask your parents early
    1. what is my career path?
    2. How will I be developed to take over running the firm?
    3. How will we know I am doing well?
    4. How do you envision my involvement in company governance?
    5. What, specifically, are your expectations for my performance?
    6. If we decide this is not a good fit, what then?
  4. is there a path to ownership?
    1. How do you imagine you will someday hand over ownership?
    2. is ownership available to siblings that don’t work in the business?
      1. If the answer to this is yes it should be a deal killer.
    3. How can I best contribute to the company’s prosperity?
    4. When it’s time for you to retire will I need to buy the company for full value or discounted value?
  5. Mom, Dad what is your vision for our future?
    1. what will we look like in 20 years?
    2. How will we get there?
    3. Will we still be relevant?
    4. Will my brothers and sisters be joining us?
      1. How will we determine who should be in charge?
      2. Will we have equal ownership?
        1. If so, how will we break the inevitable tie?

As I write this it occurs to me that most owners I know aren’t prepared for this type of conversation. But, maybe that’s a good thing. Because if you engage in this conversation (parents and children and key employees) it will cause you to crystallize some of the things you need to start working on to get you to that inevitable day.

100% of us will die and 100% will someday stop working. In my practice I see good stories; but, more often, I see sad stories. The good ones almost always are about people who thought things through ahead of time. The sad ones often didn’t think about it at all.

Fair Warning:

Funeral directors are notoriously passive-aggressive. This is especially so when they don’t want to address difficult issues. Sometimes it is necessary to have a 3rd party moderate this process. If, however, you are getting nowhere in getting your parents to address these important issues or answers are ambivalent and vague you have no right to expect that will ever change. So, you have a career decision to make. Some of the most successful owners I know had to confront the issue head-on and were prepared to leave the family firm. In the end, everyone was glad they did.  It’s called peace of mind.

Inside the Mind of Funeral Consumers

Several years ago the Funeral Service Foundation commissioned an unorthodox market research project. They retained one of the foremost market research firms – Olson Zaltmanto study the funeral consumer’s unconscious thoughts about funerals. They broke the research into two segments:

  • What consumers actually thought about funerals at the unconscious level
  • What consumers actually want in the form of their own service

The results were profound but, as with so many other things, it got lost in the day – to – humdrum that is funeral service. Of the funeral homes that have applied the findings, all have had significant consumer response and success.

Here is the first segment of a powerful video on how you can actually disrupt your own funeral market.

This week: what people really think about funerals, funeral homes and funeral directors.

What To Do When Your Heart Isn’t In Your Work Anymore

Call it what you want: Career fatigue, burnout, and boredom. The truth is almost all of us go through times when we feel our heart isn’t in it anymore. In fact, research shows that only one in three of us are actually engaged at work.

I realize there are circumstantial issues that contribute to this; like working for a difficult boss. But if that is not your issue then read on.

I have come to believe that people need meaning and purpose in their life. Some find that meaning and purpose outside of work and just look at their job as…well, a job. But those that find meaning and purpose IN their work often live even better lives.

As a former CPA, I made a deliberate choice, almost 40 years ago, to commit my career to funeral service. I made this choice for two reasons: first, I really like funeral directors (well, most of them anyway) and I truly believe (in spite of apparent trends to the contrary) that you make a positive contribution to society…and I wanted to be part of that.

But the Achilles heal of funeral directors is a greater than average need for affirmation. And affirmation in this profession is definitely on the wane. Without that affirmation it is all too easy to begin experiencing your career as a job and not a purpose. Then things start to become mechanical and mundane and we get bored. We find ourselves focusing on the negative customer instead of the positive customer. We fail to see that we have to serve both but we need to enjoy the positive and be grateful rather than feel discouraged and unappreciated.

So, what to do?

I am not one for mission statements but I am one for purpose. The answer to the question: “Why am I here?” It is very hard to remember the answer while you are solely focused on draining the swamp. But, when I am in the doldrums I have learned to remind myself of the answer; AND, as I have grown older, to accept the fact that not everyone wants what I have to offer.

The purpose of funerals

I can’t speak for everyone and neither can you. But I can tell you what I see as the purpose and in doing so maybe stimulate your own thinking.

Over 40 years of observation I am struck by one commonality among all peoples and cultures. When difficult circumstances arise humans need the presence and comfort of others. It is more than words it is physical. An online condolence will never replace a hug. An email will never replace a phone call. A mailbag full of notes and cards will never replace the affirmation of a full church. And, because I believe it, I think people should know it.

So, my purpose would be to help people make better decisions and avoid regrets. To actually tell them what can work or not work but, in the end, they need to do something. Will they suffer lifelong psychological trauma if they don’t? Most will not. Some will. But your own experience confirms in case after case that if they will take the time to gather, hug and remember they will be glad they did and they will thank you for it.

And, as for my own motivation, I have realized as I help more and more people in my own practice that clients can’t help but bring their own dysfunction to the table. Sometimes when things get raw I have to remind myself that it really isn’t about me. No, no one is really mad at me but intra family issues are unpleasant: period. And besides, I am, you are, just as dysfunctional in our way as anyone else.

You have to go out, but you don’t have to come back.

                                         Sign in New England Coastal Life Saving Station

But my motivation comes from reminding myself regularly that my purpose is to help people. They don’t have to accept my help but I have to try. If they don’t want it or they ignore it that’s on them.

I have an inspirational friend who starts every day as he says goodbye to his kids telling them:

“I am not going to work, I am going to help someone today.”

 Now that’s the ticket!

By the way. If I owned a funeral home I would dedicate the wall outside the preproom as a purpose wall and I would paper it with the letters, notes and cards of appreciation I know you all get. I would also read each of them in a public staff meeting each month before I put them up. Or maybe I wouldn’t put it outside the preproom. I would put it in a place where the public could see it too. I would publicly recognize staff who were mentioned in these cards and letters. And maybe I would have photos of special families posted with some of the better ones.

Will you help someone today?

The Neurosis That Defines Funeral Service: Perfectionism

I have a book on my office shelf entitled “Perfectionism…Sure Cure For Happiness”. The reason this is important is that, having performed almost 100 culture assessments in funeral service I know that perfectionism is the dominant industry neurosis.

Yes, I agree, “Funeral Service Is In The Details”. But it’s how we measure performance that gets it all cockamamie. In funeral service there is a fundamental, prevailing belief that colors our judgment of ourselves and others:

“A good funeral director works long, erratic hard hours.”

In fact, the most common badge of honor is between 60 & 70 hours a week. Now, I am not saying that there are not times when working 60 hours is necessary. But I will say, as I approach 40 years experience, that there are times when it is not. More important, is that the drive to honor this standard frequently produces guilt when one is not at work. This lack of work/life balance leads to family disappointment and guilt and a rising sense of burnout.

In recent years the consulting side of my practice has grown as I help people who still like what they do very much but are plain tired from the work and responsibility of owning a business. Helping the business run more efficiently is often easy. But the real work is in helping owners figure out how they can achieve a better work/life balance. And the single most common barrier to that is guilt. And my greatest champion is the spouse who has seen it all along.

Peter Drucker once observed:

“What is the major problem? It is fundamentally the confusion between effectiveness and efficiency that stands between doing the right things and doing things right. There is surely nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency that which should not be done at all.”

What would I do?

 Outside of hiring me to help you center and refocus and “get a life”, I would buy the book “E-myth” by Michael Gerber, take 3 days off in a quiet place (leave your cell phone at home) and read it. You should come away with some serious personal insights and that is where you must begin…with you.

One is often faced with choices. One choice will lead to resentment. The other choice will lead to guilt. Always choose guilt.

 

Business Partners: The Rainmaker & The Operator

Partnerships, by their very nature, are problematic. They are worse when there is not a clear vision of role differentiation that is understood by all and mutually respected.

This role differentiation is key to smooth and successful partnerships. When differentiation is not present roles tend to overlap and conflict. Competition among partners develops and eventually friction and misunderstandings occur.

Probably the worst I ever saw was two unmarried brothers who owned a business equally. They lived in the same house but years ago their relationship had deteriorated to the point that they had bricked up the middle of the house (formerly their parent’s) and each lived on their own side. Every day (and this is true) they left the house at the same time got in their respective cars and drove to the business, got out of their cars and went to their offices on opposite sides of the building. As far as anyone knew they hadn’t spoken in at least ten years to each other.

Parents will sometimes tell me they want me to help them transfer the business to two siblings equally. My response. “I will be glad to do that if you can tell me how they will break the tie.” Sometimes they protest that they always agree to which I give them my most incredulous facial expression. But most of the time they will get what I am talking about and we can figure out a solution.

Not infrequently, partners will “fall into” roles that actually suit them. What they fail to do is make it official. My favorite and, seemingly, the most functional are the rainmaker and the operator. It’s not that both can’t function in either role. Rather, one is more comfortable and effective in one over the other. Personally, I am more comfortable in an operator role. Maybe that’s why I like this model.

Rainmakers focus much of their energy on the external needs of the business. Obviously, customer and community relations are part of that. They are typically active in community organizations and spend time developing business. But rainmakers also tend to be more future-oriented. They like to keep moving forward. While change is not always a passion of theirs, they do seem to be more aware that they can’t stand still.

Operators tend to focus more on the internal needs of the business. They spend their time thinking about daily needs like schedules, personnel, costs profitability. Again, it is not that they can’t be a rainmaker and they often are. Rather they are more comfortable and effective with the daily issues of running a business.

The problem comes when one partner or the staff or one of the owner’s spouses (or both) see one as more important than the other. The best functioning of these teams knows they need each other. The operator enables the rainmaker to make rain and the rainmaker gives the operator something to operate. They enable each other to be the most effective for the good of the company.  Can you say R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

A true rainmaker without an able operator ends up with a mess. An operator without a rainmaker ends up in a rut and, sometimes, a failing business.

So, if this is your situation maybe this is a start: Take each other to lunch and say:

“I don’t always know what the heck you are doing and sometimes I think you are jerk. But I appreciate that you do what you do and make us better. thanks.”

By the way there are effective ways to solve the standoff when equal partners disagree.

 

 

Why I Am Not A Funeral Home Broker

Why I Am Not A Funeral Home Broker

Jack B. Stalk has a special goose. His goose lays a single golden egg every year. That annual egg has enabled Jack to live in a nice home, drive a luxury car, take nice vacations, eat well, put his four kids through college and be a well-respected member of the community.

One day a goose broker approaches Jack and his wife, Edith, saying, “I think I could get someone to give you seven golden eggs for that goose.”

Jack and Edith had never seen that many eggs in one place before. They were excited and gave the broker permission to find a buyer. He did better than expected and got eight eggs. Of course, Jack and Edith could only keep six after they paid the broker fees and sent Uncle Sam his share. Nevertheless, they had more eggs than they had ever had at one time.

Unfortunately, Jack and Edith soon discovered that they couldn’t maintain their lifestyle without eating some of the eggs. Worse, consuming an egg meant they had to eat even more eggs. Six eggs wouldn’t last their lifetime.

Here is the difference:

Tom Lynch once said:

“A good funeral is one that gets the dead where they need to go and the living where they need to be.”

To paraphrase Tom:

“A good Succession Plan is one that focuses first on where you need to be and then, when it’s time to sell, on getting the best price with the most efficient tax structure.”

A broker’s job is to sell your goose for the most eggs in a one – time event. A noble goal but, in my opinion, freezing egg production doesn’t meet the real needs of most owners.

In a sense, as a Certified Exit Planner, I am more concerned with where clients need to be. This means considering the whole picture:

  • Your current and future financial needs
  • The value of your goose (now and in the future)
  • Replacing annual egg production rather than a one-time egg harvest

Download the WhitePaper:  Why Selling Your Business Can’t Pay For Your Retirement. Click the Icon below.

5 Ways To Breathe Life Into Your Business

This week I was privileged to be interviewed by Sebastian Thalhammer of Austria. You may or may not have heard of Sebastian but he is a pretty interesting media guru who somehow decided I had something to say. So, Here is my “15 minutes of fame.”

Actually, it’s 45 minutes but it does have some interesting insights on how to compete more effectively and some resources you can access to help you do it.

Get yourself a cup of coffee…or a beer, relax and learn something.

Here is what I would do:

This interview may inspire some dialogue in your business. If I were you I would schedule a staff meeting, bring in some popcorn, cast the video onto one of your monitors (I know you have them). After you finish it these questions might spark a positive dialogue:

  1. What were Alan and Sebastian saying about the market that we are seeing?
  2. How could we respond or assimilate to realize a competitive advantage?
  3. What could we do that might make an impact today?
  4. What should we be planning for today that will make a difference by next year?
  5. Who will do it?

New & Improved Funeral Home Valuator

I have chosen to celebrate the re launch of my new website with an updated and improved funeral home valuation calculator.

This calculator is part of my effort to help practitioners access quick and easy tools that will help them make better choices for their business.

You can use these calculators any time and as often as you would like. I especially like the idea of using them for “what if” modeling. But, hey, I am analyst by nature.

When you use this calculator I receive an anonymous copy. I am not sure why I get it because I can’t tell who it is from.  Any way. I noticed with my old calculator that people weren’t entering their data correctly. So, I expanded it and included a brief tutorial to help with it’s use. Notice, I have included several test calculations to help you judge whether you are entering the data correctly.

as always: if you need help call me at 919.926.0688.

Unsubscribe!…Oh My…Oh No

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My apologies to my subscribers. We had a major glitch in the website subscribers Thursday and many (maybe all) of you got notices you were unsubscribed. So, if you are getting this email it is now fixed and you have nothing to worry about.  If you are not getting it then I have something to worry about.

If you’re username or email address is wrong (how would you know?) please let me  know by email.

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How to Make Change More Fun And Effective

 

It seems like funeral service has been talking about change for my entire career of almost 40 years. Sometimes it gets a little…well you know…boring.

It seems like everything changes:

  • Families
  • Employees
  • Laws

 

While we all feel stuck and even depressed as we try to accommodate (rather assimilate and build) what we feel like is out of our control.

It’s depressing and, judging from the phone calls i am getting, discouraging.

Well here’s something new

Something upbeat and encouraging…a new way of looking at things.

 

 

 

 

 

How to find the bright spot

 

https://youtu.be/zbLNOS7MxFc

The Intentional Funeral Director

What is an Intentional Funeral Director?

Some years ago I attended a Men’s Retreat at my church.

The plan was that we would all ride to the camp on the church bus. What the pastor told us before we climbed on board set the whole tone.

He said:

“Some people rise above their circumstances and some people see themselves as victims… for the next two days…no matter how real or reasonable the reasons for our circumstances we will make no excuses.”

That’s a lot harder than it sounds. Things happen and sometimes we really don’t have control but here is what we all learned:

When you allow yourself to make excuses you don’t take personal responsibility. When you don’t take personal responsibility, after a while, you start to see yourself as a victim…the result is often anger, self – pity, and, because you have self – identified as a victim, you begin to think you have no hope. And when you think you have no hope, nothing is your fault, you actually begin to learn to like your circumstances.

Intentional people act with intention. They never let themselves think like a victim. Yes, they get angry and experience disappointment and frustration. But they are deliberate and intentional about their future. They may not know what to do or, even, how to do it but they know that they can’t stay where they are.

Intentional people tend to be learners. They may or may not seek higher education. But they are always learning… what works and doesn’t work. They seek mentors and read and ask questions. They ask why and why not?

Intentional people see assumptions and paradigms as challenges. Are they true? if so, ok. If not what else can we do?

Intentional people tend to see from an “abundance” perspective: “What can I gain.” Scarcity is the prevailing perspective in funeral service: “What can I lose.” It is interesting that intentional people tend to be generous with others and love to see others grow and succeed too.

Intentional people want to have a plan. Even though they understand that plans rarely survive contact with reality, plans help them compare and contrast so they can make adjustments.

Intentional people want to have goals, short and long term. They want to know they aren’t standing still.

Intentional Funeral Directors are the ones who keep us moving in the right direction

What Would You Pay?

Big Question!! How much should the value of a funeral home be discounted if the facility is being sold for other use?

A funeral home in your area has accepted an offer for their real estate that is much greater than the business is worth. How much would you discount the value of the business if you were able to buy the name, phone number and files as well as any other equipment?

Let’s say the business WITH the real estate is valued at $1,500,000. Their business is steady and the owner is willing to help in transition but plans on retiring as soon as possible.  What would you be willing to pay?

Hint:

  • Assuming a market with average competition I believe closing a facility and transitioning to new ownership could impact 30% to 50% of volume
    • If it is in a two competitor small town I would lean toward 50% if it wasn’t sold to the competitor

I know “IT DEPENDS” but let’s get some collective opinion going here. Give me your ideas in the comments section. I will answer all questions and publish my “mathematical” approach (if someone else doesn’t” in two weeks.

War Stories welcome!